Running After Soap Bubbles

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

- C.S. Lewis

"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

- Saint Augustine

We were all born with a unquenchable thirst, an insatiable appetite. We all desired something that could appease our self-esteem and bring safety and security and satisfaction.

We were born thirsty, and so we began to drink from the cup the world provided. We drowned ourselves in the temporary pleasures of life, gorging ourselves on sex, money, fame, success, drinking ourselves drunk on shifting shadows. We lost our minds, our desires, our happiness to the fleeting pleasures of this life, working for grades and people and green pieces of paper that could never truly fill the gaping hole within our hearts. The more we drank, the more we felt the emptiness inside and continued drinking, consuming the world's food to conceal our growing hunger. At the same time, our appetite changed, complied, conformed, until all we wanted, all we desired were these temporary pleasures. We began to lose our taste for the supernatural, in the same way a Starbucks-only coffee drinker can never truly appreciate anything else. Our taste became cheapened by the trinkets of earth. We indulged ourselves in these corporeal amusements, looking only to the world for a satisfaction it could not provide.

The truth is we fell for trash. And we still do. In our limited vision, we fail to keep in mind the eternal weight of glory that awaits and run after carnal pleasures. We trade away the spiritual blessings God provides and the comfort and strength that come from heaven for the gaudy baubles of this earth. We fall head over heels for little pleasures that keep us entertained one second and leave us ravenous for more. 

I am so guilty of pursuing soap bubbles. So often I lose sight of God's amazing grace and look to people for security, grades and plastic trophies for satisfaction. And while temporarily these things hold up under my weight and dependence, eventually they give in. Over the last few months, I've realized that all too often, I place my hope and security and joy on these temporary things. I try to find rest and satisfaction in what this world provides, instead of looking to the only One who can satisfy the ache within. 

King Solomon had it all. He had fame, wealth, success, women. He had everything the world could offer at his command, and yet he realized that life was empty without God. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon describes the futile pursuit of worldly pleasures. His search to find happiness and fulfillment in the world resulted in vanity, and he was left thirsty, restless, desperate. He was a man who had pursued soap bubbles and found them lacking. Yet, at the end of the book, Solomon cries out a warning to remember our Creator, to fear God and keep His commandments. Though he experienced everything this world could offer, Solomon understood satisfaction and security come from heaven and a healthy fear of the Lord, not from temporary pleasures.

Christ has not just left us restless and searching. Though this world can never truly quench our thirst, there is a Fountain overflowing with living water that we are invited to partake. A Fountain that can wash away our sins and satisfy our longings once and for all in its springs of living water. I guess that's why God created our thirst in the first place, so our search for fulfillment can eventually lead us to Him. He made us thirsty to point us heavenward in order that on earth, we can not only enjoy that Fountain, but also share that living water with others. To pour out the blessings of His grace and point others to Christ for satisfaction and security.

Not only do we have this hope here on earth, but we also have the hope of heaven, where we will no longer feel like aliens and pilgrims on a journey, but where we will finally be home. That quote from C.S. Lewis sums this up perfectly. This world cannot satisfy our desires, because quite frankly, this world is not our home. We were created for another world, and nothing on earth can ever bring complete fulfillment. Yet this desperate search for water directs our gaze upwards to a place of physical, emotional, and spiritual satisfaction. We were created for the supernatural, and while the carnal cannot satisfy, the eternal can. 

This world is full of mirages, and we run to shimmering shadows of water but find them deceiving. We are weary, weary in our unending search for fulfillment, weary in running after soap bubbles. Yet Christ invites us to drink at His feet, to drink and drink our fill in the presence of His grace and lovingkindness. The choice is up to us.

When Your Life is Held in the Hands of the Creator God

I don't think I've made it through a day without worrying. 

Doubting in my own insecurity and questioning my own choices and friendships and decisions and wondering if I really am capable of moving out in an year to step out into the unknown. Trying to figure out things on my own and feeling so incredibly overwhelmed and small in the light of the life-changing turns ahead. 

I'm guilty of worrying.

I'm guilty of not trusting that my life is planned out in detail for God's glory and my good by my Heavenly Father. 

I'm guilty of moving and fighting and searching, rather than simply being still and knowing that He is God and accepting that all things are held within the palm of His hand. 

-

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
{Psalm 46:10, ESV}

-

Sometimes in the light of our everyday lives, we forget who God is. We forget to be still and meditate on His attributes and reflect upon His characteristics. We forget to know and be in awe of the majesty and glory of our Creator. 

In the Systematic Theology class I'm attending at church, we've recently gone over God's omni- attributes, His power and all sufficient knowledge and ability to be in all places at all times. And these thoughts of God, contemplating theology proper, have brought me comfort and peace, knowing that my life is treasured and mapped out by my Heavenly Father.

His omnipresence, God's ability to be completely everywhere at one point in time. To know that my Heavenly Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, is always with us, and that we can cry out to Him for wisdom and strength and joy, should bring peace. Even though life may be chaotic and decisions may be difficult, He is Emmanuel, God with us, anytime, anywhere, in the midst of the storm and the confusion and the hardships or when we realize how infinitely blessed we are and life seems to be going well. God is always near. And that thought blows my mind.

His omnipotence, God's ability to do anything and everything consistent with His own nature. God promises to work all things for the good of those who love Him, and we know through His strength, He will follow through. Even though things may seem humanly impossible or complicated, God is all-powerful and we can ask great things of the Almighty God. Rather than worrying or taking things into our own hands, we can trust Him to accomplish everything in accordance to His will.

His omniscience, God's ability to know everything. He understands our weaknesses, our needs, and our desires. He understands what we're struggling through, the little things that try our patience, the tough life decisions we have to make, the complex friendships and relationships in our lives. He knows. And we don't need to worry, for the Creator of the universe who knows all things, including what is best for us at each moment in time, will work all things together for our benefit and His glory, through His perfect power and knowledge and presence.

Worry is a sin.

Worry is doubting the ability of our Creator to know and to act.

Worry is challenging the strength of the Lord to act upon what is best for us, questioning the sovereignty of the Lord and His plan for our lives. 

Worry exists in the absence of a proper fear of the Lord. 

But when we develop a fear and reverence for the Lord, when we contemplate His attributes and find joy and peace in His greatness, when we deliver our cares over to an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God, our worries melt away. We have a God greater than our fears and more powerful than our insecurities who loves us and pursues His glory and our good. We can live each day, trusting Him and His attributes, finding comfort that our lives are in nail-pierced hands.

-

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."
{Psalm 55:22, ESV}

At the Brink of 2015: 3 Attributes I Want to Develop This Year

Last year I sat down in this same chair and blogged about 2013. Asked for joy and a passion for the Lord. Prayed to be broken so I could find my satisfaction and joy and all in Him.

And here I am again, at the brink of a new year, cup of tea in hand, praying that God is delighted with me. That this year has changed and molded me into a woman of God He is pleased with. That 2014 has brought me to my knees more often in realization of my own weakness and His strength. And I think it has. 

Looking back to a year filled with speech and debate and school, I find that slowly, I have learned to depend on Him more for strength and wisdom. A cramped schedule, difficult homework assignments, and speech and debate tournaments have humbled me and taught me more and more that I need God's strength and peace each day. It's a lesson I'm still learning, to lean on my Heavenly Father instead of my own limited capacity. I remember His hand over my life during those two blessed weeks in Manila, strengthening and teaching me through the examples of others, imparting me with a desire to one day serve Him overseas, humbling me and working in me. And that week in Worldview Academy allowed me to see my shamefully faltering love for the Father and gave me a new thirst to develop my relationship with Him. This new school year has been the busiest yet, but somehow, I've survived the first semester with God's grace.

Here I stand, in awe of God's provision. It reminds me of the Psalms when David recalled God's faithfulness in the past and praised Him for His hand over His people. And that's a bit of what I feel right now. I'm so very thankful that He is working in me and has strengthened me and has drawn me closer to Himself this past year. I truly am a work-in-progress, and it really is mindblowing to reflect on God's hand over my life. I don't and will never deserve His love and faithfulness, but through His grace, I can do what little I can with the life I have now to live more fully for Him. So here's three attributes I want to focus on this year so I can reflect my Father's love to those around me for His glory. (If you're reading this and know me personally, please hold me accountable. Thank you.)

1) Reverence 

I want to develop a deeper reverence for the Lord. And this may sound strange and uncommon, but too often I worship myself. Too often I place my own thoughts and desires above God, and I fail to notice the truth, that I am so small and insignificant and weak and sinful compared to my Creator God who is perfect in righteousness and strength. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And this year, I want to develop a healthy fear for my Heavenly Father, that I may see myself and this earth in light of who He is. That I may develop awe for Him and that I may never eclipse His glory with my own idols. That I may be humbled and encouraged by meditating on His attributes and reflecting on the awesome God we serve.

Father God, teach me more about Yourself. I desire to know You more. May my knowledge of You not puff me up, but rather humble me and empower me to worship You in light of the awesome and glorious God You are.

2) Servanthood

This ties in together with reverence and my desire for humility. When we notice God's character and attributes and His promises and faithfulness for His children, it should naturally cause a desire to serve and love those around us as an outpouring of our love for our Father. I want to serve more this year, to learn to give up my own interests for the interests of others and to love others before myself. I want to do the hard things, the little things, the dirty things because that's what Christ has commanded us to do and what He exemplified by coming down to earth and sacrificing Himself on the cross. May this year bring opportunities to serve my family, my friends, my church, and those I interact with for God's glory and for my good. May I have the courage and strength to reach out and love others, even at the cost of my own self-interest.

Lord, You exemplified servanthood in Your birth, life, and death. I desire to serve and love those around me as You did. This world focuses so much on self, but I want to stand against the culture by loving You and loving others sacrificially in return. Give me strength to do the hard things this year, so that others can see the immensity of what You have done for me through my actions.

3) Joy

Too often I disregard everything my Father has done for me and overlook my privileges and blessings as a child of God. I want to find joy, not in my circumstances, but in God's promises and His attributes. As I grow to know Him more this year, I want to not only serve others, but to be thankful and rejoice in who He is. I desire that my emotions and my joy be based not on other people or the things of this world, but on my God who is always good and faithful and never changes. May my joy point others to the true joy that is only possible through knowing Christ.

Lord, I look back at this year and I am in awe of Your goodness and provision and faithfulness to me. I know that I stumble and fall so many times, but You have never abandoned me. Even through difficult times, I have never walked alone. Thank You, Lord, for Your sovereign hand that works everything to the good of those who love You and fear Your name. You are an amazing God, and it is an honor and a privilege to be called Your daughter. May You be glorified through me this next year. May Your light shine through me, that I may serve and better encourage others with the strength You provide. May this upcoming year bring both times of blessing and times of trial to bring me closer to You and increase my love and worship of You. 

And That's What Christmas Is All About: Seeing Calvary Through Smokey Mountain

Six months ago, I was halfway around the world, walking through the slums of Manila. I was walking on glass and human waste mixed with mud and mashed up food scraps and holding sticky hands in mine and feeling the sun beat down and bake all the garbage around me in an oven of heat and putrid filth. Even the air smelled polluted. And I was struggling in the midst of all this poverty to hold back tears and not stare too hard at what I was stepping on or what I was breathing in but to pray. To cry out to God above with my breaking heart and trust Him in the midst of such heartbreaking destitution. And I prayed. 

{excerpt from my journal on 6/28/2014}

These people have nothing and it breaks my heart. Really, nothing. Yet they're happy and glad to be alive. The Christians are so willing to serve and so joyful. I can't say I enjoyed it. Seeing all that poverty was heartbreaking. But it opened my eyes. I'll never forget the feeling of loving and reaching out to grimy kids with blackened bodies and sticky hands who have probably never bathed for months. Or seeing kids gnawing on bones atop a pile of trash or climbing Smokey Mountain with a grand view on top of a hill that almost looks natural, if not for the garbage and pieces of glass protruding from the dirt. It's. . .hard to find a word to describe the conditions there. It's very difficult to wrap my mind around it all without crying. Yet God is faithful.

I will always remember one little boy who stood naked from the waist down, blackened and grimy and tugging on my shirt, arms outstretched, begging to be held. A half-naked little boy. Dirty. Just wanting to be loved. And I tried to hide. I tried to say no. I tried to withdraw. His filth and nakedness repulsed me, and I wanted to shrink away and cry. Everything Western and sanitary screamed at me not to touch him.

But in that moment, I was reminded of Calvary's love. If Christ left all the glory in heaven above to live among the filth and waste of our sin, if He sacrificed everything He had for His glory and our salvation, if God Himself came to live and die among sinners in the slum of our hearts, in the depravity of our sin, how could I not love this child? How could I not give myself up and follow after the example of my Savior? If Christ died for me, how could I not love others? 

And in that moment, God taught me a precious lesson. 

Because now when I think about the incarnation of Christ and Christmas, of Christ coming down to earth and being made man, of Him leaving His heavenly throne and the riches of heaven for earth, of being born in the lowliest of places, of living among sinners who repelled Him with our wicked hearts in rebellion against Him, I think of the slums of Manila. I think of Christ, coming down to the filth of our sin and the garbage of our dark hearts, to work and live and love us. Our sin and our hearts were like garbage to Christ, like those sticky, blacked hands and that half-naked body and the human waste lying everywhere on the path. We were repulsive to Him with our thieving, lying, murderous, adulterous hearts. Yet Christ saw us in the spiritual slum of our depravity and He loved us. He loved us enough to come down and live among us, to die for our sins, that we might be freed from our bondage of sin and become adopted sons and daughters of the Most High.

And that's what Christmas is all about. How Christ came down to our level, to the spiritual equivalent of Smokey Mountain, to the filth of our hearts, for His glory and for our good. What an incredible God we have, a God so compassionate and loving and merciful, a God so patient with us in our sin and a God full of grace and blessings that we do not and cannot ever deserve. 

Lord, may we live life each day in light of all that You are and all that You've done.

Reflections Over a Cup of Tea: Identity Crisis and Isaiah 43

I'm a junior. 

And some days I struggle with my identity. 

There are days when I roll out of bed, and I wonder if I am worth more than what I do, what I wear, what people think of me. 

Because life is crazy hectic between school and karate and driving places and learning things and getting decent grades and checkmarks in speech and debate. Crammed full of taking and prepping for all those three letter tests. And suddenly, everyone has figured out colleges and careers and majors, while balancing relationships and a healthy social life on the side.

Am I worth more than a good SAT score?

Am I still worth something if I'm not dating a guy, if I don't know what college I want to go to, if I can't keep up a 4.0 GPA? 

It's so difficult. When there's pressure from all areas of life to conform and be popular and wear the right things and listen to the right music and get asked out by guys. Years have passed, and it's still the same basic struggle. The battle to not fall back into depression or a low self-image, but to wake up and live without always feeling horrible about myself. The desperate fight to find my worth and value and identity, not because of who I am or what I can do or what other people think of me, but as a daughter of the King who sent His Son down to earth to redeem this broken heart, so I now have worth and value and identity because I am cloaked in His love and grace and strength and peace. 

I know all this by heart now. I've said these same things to myself for ages, as long as I can remember. Yet, truly believing these things with heart and soul and mind doesn't come easily.

Lord, help my unbelief.

I turn to Isaiah 43 and its words wash over me, overwhelm me, comfort me.

"But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;
    I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you.
6 I will say to the north, Give up,
    and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the end of the earth,
7 everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

I am precious and honored and loved and cherished by the Creator of the universe. Nothing, no one can remove me from the unfailing, constant, irreplaceable love of God.

I bear His name, and through the turbulence of life, I do not walk alone.

I wish I could say reading Isaiah 43 entirely replaced my doubt and insecurity with trust in God. But in all honesty, I can't. I'm just a sinner trying to renew my mind with the truth of God's Word, and it really is a constant, daily struggle, and sometimes I do feel discouraged and not worth much. However, I'm just so grateful that we have a God who is patient with us in our stubbornness, who works through our unbelief that we might truly see and know and understand His amazing love for us. That in everything, through all of life's ups and downs, He loves me, forever and always. We serve an amazing God. 

{Safety is found only in His sovereignty, security in His love, and satisfaction in His presence.}

May I find my security in Him.

Understanding the Culture: The Liturgists

Christian musicians are promoting a new kind of Christianity, one that incorporates meditation and silence, supernatural mysticism, and Eastern philosophy. It's a water-downed version of the Truth mixed with universalism and pantheism, and it's destructive. Its ideals and values are corroding the theology and beliefs of the evangelical Christian church, yet modern Christians embrace and welcome its teachings, unknowingly swallowing poison and waging war against truth and God itself.

But the idea's been catching like wildfire, and friends have emailed me directly about such links. So here's my attempt to shine the light of biblical truth on the Liturgist group. Here's an attempt to poke holes in its foundation. Here's my contribution to uphold the banner of Truth above this chaotic worldview and reveal the cobwebs and loopholes in this new movement. If this post can increase discernment in my readers, if this post can promote God's truth, then my goal's been accomplished.

So before I go any farther, I recommend checking out and reading the Liturgist's website {http://www.theliturgists.com} You may be surprised to see the list of Christian bands and artists who are part of spreading Christian heresy. 

Let's start by dissecting their values, found at: http://www.theliturgists.com/manifesto/

1. Beauty- "We believe that beauty is the heart and perhaps primary truth of the Gospel. If it's not beautiful, it's not worth speaking of or working on."

Where is this concept found in Scripture? How has the Gospel become so decentralized that it fails to focus on God's glory and goodness and love? God is the center of the Gospel. The Gospel glorifies God. It reveals His power over sin and death, His love towards such undeserving sinners, His righteousness and justice in fulfilling the payment of sin (death). The cross glorified God in bringing sinners to salvation, emphasizing man's utter depravity and God's grace. God is beautiful, of course, because He is perfectly good. But beauty was not Jesus' goal. He wasn't beaten and stripped and tortured and killed for beauty. He died for God's glory, that the Lord of all might be glorified in the victory over sin and death and the salvation of sinners.

Skipping over #2 to #3 in their manifesto...

3. Unity -  "The Liturgists is made up of people with varying thoughts, philosophies and theologies, and we seek to integrate our diversity into a healthy unity. While we have no desire to cater or pander to worldviews that are destructive, we do seek the good in every perspective and believe that all human beings are connected to each other and the Cosmos at large, and that a deep sense of unity ought to trump any differences that we create with one another."

I'd like to first point out the concept of Pantheism that pervades this mentality. That all human beings are connected to each other and the Cosmos (note the capital C) is quite equivalent to saying God is in all of us and all of nature, or that we are all one with nature. In Romans 1, the Bible specifically warns against the danger of worshipping creation, rather than the Creator. Creation is not equivalent with the Creator, in the same way as a painting is vastly different from its painter. Scripture emphasizes this by describing God as the holy Creator of a fallen creation. Also, mankind is not equivalent with God. Simply listing God's attributes (omniscience, omnipotence, holiness, etc.) and comparing them to the limited, finite nature of man should suffice to disregard this argument. Lastly, man is not equal with nature. We were created in the image of God as stewards of creation to take care of nature. 

I'd also like to emphasize the universalist and postmodernist mentality diluted and hidden within this third point. "Seeking the good in every perspective" essentially embraces the good in all religions, rejecting the absolutes of Christianity and believing truth can be found in every worldview. When in reality, there is an absolute Truth and all other religions and worldviews are distortions and lies of that perfect Truth. When all other beliefs are roads leading to a hell away from God and everything true and beautiful. The Liturgist movement digresses from the Truth found only in the Word of God and accepts all other beliefs in the name of tolerance.

4. Christian Theology - "Atlhough we value people of all beliefs, the Liturgists is decidedly Christian in practice. We see exceptional value in the life and teachings of Jesus, and while we may experiment with influences and ideas from multiple traditions, we find it useful to utilize specifically Christian language and sacrament for the purpose of creating good liturgical experiences."

The life and teachings of Jesus are not just valuable. He was not simply a "good person" who taught "good things." He was either the Son of God who deserves to be worshipped as Lord, or else a liar or a lunatic. And this just saddens me to no avail. That Christians, Christians in the church and music industry, glaze over the main root of Jesus' teachings. Christ emphasized our depravity and need of salvation, which only comes through belief, repentance, and surrender. And Jesus' words were fighting words, not simply "good words" or words with moral value, but words that still demand and invoke a response.  

The last part of the statement irritates me. "Good liturgical experiences?" Like emotional heartpulls or Pentecostal babblings? These Liturgists are employing the Truth found in Christianity and manipulating it for their own "experiences". And that makes me mad. Indignant that they should be so presumptuous to play with the Truth and extort it into something they find "more beautiful" than knowing God Himself through the Holy Scriptures. When Christ is enough to satisfy us completely. 

-

If you've read this far, visit this link: http://www.theliturgists.com/god-our-mother/ and listen to tracks 3-5. 

In response to track 3, "God Our Mother," God teaches us to address Him as "our Father" in Scripture. Believers are taught to pray to Him as our Father in heaven. Referring to Jesus as our Father brings to mind the protection, care, provision, control, leadership, discipline, authority, and love of God. Though the Bible does use feminine forms to address wisdom or Jesus, when He longed to gather Jerusalem and His people together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, God wants us to address Him as our Father. And we do so, out of respect and obedience to God Himself. 

Meditation, as found in Eastern religions, filled with emptied minds and inner peace, is not a viable activity for Christians. God commands us to worship Him in spirit and in truth. We are not to worship in any way we feel like, but to worship correctly according to what we know of God through Scripture. In this way, we do not misinterpret Scripture or create our own "truths," but we worship God in accordance with who He really is and what He wants from us. 

Additionally, meditation results in emptied minds, while the Bible generates minds filled with Scriptural truth, thoughts that are excellent, noble, and pure. Christianity is a religion of discernment, preaching vigilance in our hearts and minds. We must take every thought captive, testing and measuring worldviews and ideas according to Scripture. Christianity demands us to think and to think well. And so Christians must be on guard against the corrupt teachings of this world and our own sinful minds. Emptying our minds only lowers our defenses to the blasphemies and lies of the world. 

So, to conclude a rather long and hurriedly written post, the Liturgists have no place in Christianity. Their claims and manipulations of biblical truth should be a warning to us to increase our awareness and knowledge of Scripture, that we might obtain discernment and wisdom in dealing with the philosophies of the world. For we fight a battle not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil and wolves in sheep's clothing.

"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience."

{2 Corinthians 10:3-6}

Seeing God Behind the Headlines

I read about pain and suffering and tragedy, all in the comforts of a typical suburban American home, while scrolling through the Wall Street Journal on my Macbook, feet resting on plushy cushions, chips near at hand. I can walk across the room to a fridge packed with food or open my closet to a myriad of different outfits. 

Suddenly I look at everything, and I cannot believe that I live among the lucky few, while millions are living in pain and suffering and hardship. It seems hypocritical to read about India's caste system, where untouchables earn less than $4 a month cleaning out latrines and shoveling out human excrement, and then later spend $4 on a Starbucks drink. It saddens me to contemplate the raping and killing and brutality carried on by Boko Haram or the Islamic State. Such brutal murder and anger and fear throughout the world, such trauma as people are beheaded and killed for their faith, as families flee from all they know, all they hold dear.

And here I am. Typing on my Macbook, indecisive over today's outfit or lunch, worrying about PSATs and subject tests and getting all my schoolwork done. 

In times like this, when I feel so useless and hypocritical and monstrous in this safety and comfort and wealth, when I ask the whys and I cannot understand the seeming contradiction, I pray. The only comfort I can rely on on this earth comes from above. And in dark times like this, I am led to the Rock that is higher than this storm of havoc and destruction, and I am comforted by God's attributes. In this pain, in these horrific circumstances of death and suffering, He is sovereign and He is good. 

He is sovereign.

And I stare at those three words until they can penetrate into this thick skull of mine, until they form a picture of God wielding the conductor's wand, holding the painter's paintbrush, molding the clay. The earth is His footstool. He is in perfect control. All this pain, all this destruction is part of His plan. Nothing happens outside of His control, not even all this.

In fact, I know how this story ends. It ends in a fantastic display of God's goodness and holiness and justice, where all tongues from all nations will bow down in worship and recognition of who God is. Just like the cliche action novel, before the author concludes his tale, things seem dark and unreasonable. It seems impossible that the hero or heroine will ultimately escape from all this madness and things will be made right. Yet, at the end of the novel, all is well and everyone lives happily ever after. In the same way, we already know this story has a good ending. This evil in the world will pass and fall away, but my God will reign forever on high where there is no pain, death, or sorrow. 

And so I trust Him. I delight in His sovereignty and supremacy and control.

Even though news headlines are hard to reconcile, even though I cannot understand why these awful things are occurring, I know and believe and recognize God's hand above it all. There is a reason for this madness. And because this is all part of His plan, because I can see the magnificent conclusion of this story, I trust Him.

God is just.

My heart cries out for justice when I look at pictures of murdered civilians, when I see the faces of families fleeing their hometowns, or when I see the corruption in the world and how the rich thrive on top of the bones and blood of the oppressed. In these moments, when my passion spurts out in red flames and I cannot hold within me the anger directed at these men with guns and knives, I recognize that God is just, and justice will be delivered to each individual. 

Justice.

That word brings me to terms with my past. For I deserved death. I deserved a living, eternal, forever kind of death. I was no different than these murderers. My heart was just as black as these killers and the people they murdered. I was once one of them, and only by God's grace did Jesus regenerate my broken heart. I have received grace. Yet who am I to hate other sinners when I was once like them? 

I demand justice. Yet, do I truly know what I'm asking for? Because justice would require an extermination of all unbelieving human life, including my agnostic or atheist friends alongside Islamic terrorists. Which leads me to a recognition of the importance of God's patience and timing, as well as His justice. Not only do we serve a just God, but we serve a patient God, who desires that people come to know Him. 

Justice will come. In the meantime, I wait with Him, for the predestined to repent, for His children to believe, and for all to bow one day before His throne.

God is good.

This sin and death and misery is because of us. We fell into depravity. Our hearts became desperately sick. We rebelled against our Creator, and because of our rebellion, pain and death and suffering came into the world. The evil in this world is a result of sin, not a creation of our Heavenly Father.

In fact, He sent His one and only Son, so that those who believe in His Name and surrender their lives to Him may have life. Instead of passively allowing us to remain trapped in this dark world, Christ unlocked the cage. All we have to do is to simply accept the cage is open and jump out. When we acknowledge and worship Jesus as Lord, when we repent and turn from our sins, we can be truly free. Because of God's free gift, because Christ died so we have a way out of this dark world, we can live life here on earth with rich spiritual blessings and the hope of an eternal life with the King.

And so, though headlines and newspapers may shake my emotions, I know and believe and delight in the fact that my God is sovereign and just and good. Even though I don't understand, though I may never understand the height and depth and width of God's ways, I trust Him. He is faithful. The best is yet to come.