Last year I sat down in this same chair and blogged about 2013. Asked for joy and a passion for the Lord. Prayed to be broken so I could find my satisfaction and joy and all in Him.
And here I am again, at the brink of a new year, cup of tea in hand, praying that God is delighted with me. That this year has changed and molded me into a woman of God He is pleased with. That 2014 has brought me to my knees more often in realization of my own weakness and His strength. And I think it has.
Looking back to a year filled with speech and debate and school, I find that slowly, I have learned to depend on Him more for strength and wisdom. A cramped schedule, difficult homework assignments, and speech and debate tournaments have humbled me and taught me more and more that I need God's strength and peace each day. It's a lesson I'm still learning, to lean on my Heavenly Father instead of my own limited capacity. I remember His hand over my life during those two blessed weeks in Manila, strengthening and teaching me through the examples of others, imparting me with a desire to one day serve Him overseas, humbling me and working in me. And that week in Worldview Academy allowed me to see my shamefully faltering love for the Father and gave me a new thirst to develop my relationship with Him. This new school year has been the busiest yet, but somehow, I've survived the first semester with God's grace.
Here I stand, in awe of God's provision. It reminds me of the Psalms when David recalled God's faithfulness in the past and praised Him for His hand over His people. And that's a bit of what I feel right now. I'm so very thankful that He is working in me and has strengthened me and has drawn me closer to Himself this past year. I truly am a work-in-progress, and it really is mindblowing to reflect on God's hand over my life. I don't and will never deserve His love and faithfulness, but through His grace, I can do what little I can with the life I have now to live more fully for Him. So here's three attributes I want to focus on this year so I can reflect my Father's love to those around me for His glory. (If you're reading this and know me personally, please hold me accountable. Thank you.)
1) Reverence
I want to develop a deeper reverence for the Lord. And this may sound strange and uncommon, but too often I worship myself. Too often I place my own thoughts and desires above God, and I fail to notice the truth, that I am so small and insignificant and weak and sinful compared to my Creator God who is perfect in righteousness and strength. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And this year, I want to develop a healthy fear for my Heavenly Father, that I may see myself and this earth in light of who He is. That I may develop awe for Him and that I may never eclipse His glory with my own idols. That I may be humbled and encouraged by meditating on His attributes and reflecting on the awesome God we serve.
Father God, teach me more about Yourself. I desire to know You more. May my knowledge of You not puff me up, but rather humble me and empower me to worship You in light of the awesome and glorious God You are.
2) Servanthood
This ties in together with reverence and my desire for humility. When we notice God's character and attributes and His promises and faithfulness for His children, it should naturally cause a desire to serve and love those around us as an outpouring of our love for our Father. I want to serve more this year, to learn to give up my own interests for the interests of others and to love others before myself. I want to do the hard things, the little things, the dirty things because that's what Christ has commanded us to do and what He exemplified by coming down to earth and sacrificing Himself on the cross. May this year bring opportunities to serve my family, my friends, my church, and those I interact with for God's glory and for my good. May I have the courage and strength to reach out and love others, even at the cost of my own self-interest.
Lord, You exemplified servanthood in Your birth, life, and death. I desire to serve and love those around me as You did. This world focuses so much on self, but I want to stand against the culture by loving You and loving others sacrificially in return. Give me strength to do the hard things this year, so that others can see the immensity of what You have done for me through my actions.
3) Joy
Too often I disregard everything my Father has done for me and overlook my privileges and blessings as a child of God. I want to find joy, not in my circumstances, but in God's promises and His attributes. As I grow to know Him more this year, I want to not only serve others, but to be thankful and rejoice in who He is. I desire that my emotions and my joy be based not on other people or the things of this world, but on my God who is always good and faithful and never changes. May my joy point others to the true joy that is only possible through knowing Christ.
Lord, I look back at this year and I am in awe of Your goodness and provision and faithfulness to me. I know that I stumble and fall so many times, but You have never abandoned me. Even through difficult times, I have never walked alone. Thank You, Lord, for Your sovereign hand that works everything to the good of those who love You and fear Your name. You are an amazing God, and it is an honor and a privilege to be called Your daughter. May You be glorified through me this next year. May Your light shine through me, that I may serve and better encourage others with the strength You provide. May this upcoming year bring both times of blessing and times of trial to bring me closer to You and increase my love and worship of You.
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
To Sharpen Iron: 3 Lessons Learned from Worldview
It wouldn't be stretching the truth to say that Worldview changed my life. Again.
As I think back upon this past week, I see the faces of my small group. Girls who changed the way I see God's heart. Who stood by each other through bleary-eyed mornings and tough lectures and intense discussions and six-pack-developing laughter. I see my small group leader Michelle, who imparted words of wisdom I will never forget and who sacrificed her time and energy and heart to six girls last week. I see the faces of our next generation, guys and gals who stand side-by-side, cupping the truth within our fragile hands.
And we are not afraid. Not afraid to ask the tough questions and wrestle with issues of government and law and biblical authority. Not afraid to step onto the streets of greater Seattle to witness to the Light. Not afraid because we have been trained to testify to the Truth.
I have the greatest admiration for these young men and women, who have a desire to know God and know Truth. For when we know God, we know Truth. And Worldview enables us to know both God and Truth. And to not only know Truth, but to share it with the world and empower others with what we've seen and learned.
On Wednesday, all 160+ students headed out to Fremont and Queen Anne for evangelism, armed with tracts and God's truth. And that's where I met Richard and my eyes were opened to God's heart.
Here was a man, stubborn in his belief that the Bible was contradictory and illogical. That the maximum IQ was when two people converge and how the Bible undermines women and promotes slavery. How the Bible was full of errors, while he himself was the supreme authority on what was right and wrong. How he believed he would simply disintegrate in death and how he believed he was a good person.
Oh Lord, forgive him, for he did not know what he was doing. Open his eyes. Break through to his heart. Show him Yourself in all Your glory and grace and love.
It was in that moment that I saw God's heart break. I saw a glimpse of God's immense pain for this man. He was God's beloved creation that He had sacrificed His only Son for, and yet he remained hostile with his sick heart in direct defiance of everything good and right and pure. Psalm 81:13 reads, "Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!" That day, I felt God's heart cry out in pain. I felt God's agony when He looked upon His creation and saw a disobedient people.
Yet, at the same time, I felt utter frustration, like I was beating against a wall of stone.
For how do you describe light to a blind man? How can you simply make someone see the box of lies he's been living in all his life?
That day, my eyes were opened and I saw the thousands upon thousands of people so blind and lost and dead in Seattle. Not just in Manila, but here in hip, coffee-drinking, tattooed Seattle. We are surrounded by the living dead.
Yet, so often, I am so selfish. I have the antidote to the poison permeating the world's population, yet I do nothing. I sit home on couches and watch TV and go about my daily business, when people are living and dying in their sin in direct rejection of the Truth.
Oh Lord, how can I be so selfish that I would withhold Your life-saving grace to the blind?
Richard showed me God's heart. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Please pray with me for Richard. Pray that God would turn His heart around that he might see God's eternal, unchanging, unconditional love and accept Christ as Lord over his life.
Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. And it is my privilege to study God's Word.
Growing up in a Christian home, we take a lot of things for granted. Often times, I read my Bible because as a Christian, it's the "right" thing to do, but I forget that Christ bought and paid for my relationship with Him. Jesus died for me, so I can know Him and love Him.
Similarly to romantic dates, we have the opportunity to "make a date" with Jesus. I don't mean that to be cheesy, but it's true. People who are in love with each other treasure each moment spent together and cherish each opportunity to spend time with one another. It's never a chore or a burden, but a gift.
It's the same with Christ. He loved us so much He died for us, and how do we repay Him? By treating His Word and our relationship with Christ as a duty or another task on our to-do list? Something to skim through each morning, so we can move on with our day?
Father, forgive me for abusing this beautiful gift of having a relationship with You. Draw me ever closer to Your heart.
Do we have to pray? Do we have to read the Bible? Do we have to do devotions each morning?
No. But we get to. We get to approach the throne of the Almighty God whenever we want and open His Word to learn more out our Creator and Heavenly Father. We get to make a date with Jesus whenever, wherever.
And so often we forget the immense privilege it is to approach our Lord Jesus through prayer and through His Word.
Recently, I've been struggling with imposing my own Christian standards on unbelievers through law and government, regarding issues like gay marriage.
One day at Worldview, I got to eat a meal with one of the speakers at Worldview, along with some other debaters and speechers. Mike Schutt explained it, not as imposing morals found in Scripture, but as upholding the Truth, found not only in Scripture, but in the natural order of things. Regarding the issue of legalizing gay marriage, he explained it as looking at how men and women were created physically and the natural process of childbirth and sex. Instead of only looking at Scripture to find what legislation to approve or oppose, he taught that upholding Truth was the more correct principle to apply to situations regarding religious beliefs and government.
And that really helped me reconcile the issue, because as a believer, it's important to always look first to God's Word. But realizing also that God's Word is truth and the natural order of the world supports truth helped me see that there are more reasons to endorse legislation than simply religious beliefs. And that'll help me in turn explain my political opinions to an unbelieving world.
As I think back upon this past week, I see the faces of my small group. Girls who changed the way I see God's heart. Who stood by each other through bleary-eyed mornings and tough lectures and intense discussions and six-pack-developing laughter. I see my small group leader Michelle, who imparted words of wisdom I will never forget and who sacrificed her time and energy and heart to six girls last week. I see the faces of our next generation, guys and gals who stand side-by-side, cupping the truth within our fragile hands.
And we are not afraid. Not afraid to ask the tough questions and wrestle with issues of government and law and biblical authority. Not afraid to step onto the streets of greater Seattle to witness to the Light. Not afraid because we have been trained to testify to the Truth.
I have the greatest admiration for these young men and women, who have a desire to know God and know Truth. For when we know God, we know Truth. And Worldview enables us to know both God and Truth. And to not only know Truth, but to share it with the world and empower others with what we've seen and learned.
-
1. RichardOn Wednesday, all 160+ students headed out to Fremont and Queen Anne for evangelism, armed with tracts and God's truth. And that's where I met Richard and my eyes were opened to God's heart.
Here was a man, stubborn in his belief that the Bible was contradictory and illogical. That the maximum IQ was when two people converge and how the Bible undermines women and promotes slavery. How the Bible was full of errors, while he himself was the supreme authority on what was right and wrong. How he believed he would simply disintegrate in death and how he believed he was a good person.
Oh Lord, forgive him, for he did not know what he was doing. Open his eyes. Break through to his heart. Show him Yourself in all Your glory and grace and love.
It was in that moment that I saw God's heart break. I saw a glimpse of God's immense pain for this man. He was God's beloved creation that He had sacrificed His only Son for, and yet he remained hostile with his sick heart in direct defiance of everything good and right and pure. Psalm 81:13 reads, "Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!" That day, I felt God's heart cry out in pain. I felt God's agony when He looked upon His creation and saw a disobedient people.
Yet, at the same time, I felt utter frustration, like I was beating against a wall of stone.
For how do you describe light to a blind man? How can you simply make someone see the box of lies he's been living in all his life?
That day, my eyes were opened and I saw the thousands upon thousands of people so blind and lost and dead in Seattle. Not just in Manila, but here in hip, coffee-drinking, tattooed Seattle. We are surrounded by the living dead.
Yet, so often, I am so selfish. I have the antidote to the poison permeating the world's population, yet I do nothing. I sit home on couches and watch TV and go about my daily business, when people are living and dying in their sin in direct rejection of the Truth.
Oh Lord, how can I be so selfish that I would withhold Your life-saving grace to the blind?
Richard showed me God's heart. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Please pray with me for Richard. Pray that God would turn His heart around that he might see God's eternal, unchanging, unconditional love and accept Christ as Lord over his life.
-
2. DevosChristianity is a relationship, not a religion. And it is my privilege to study God's Word.
Growing up in a Christian home, we take a lot of things for granted. Often times, I read my Bible because as a Christian, it's the "right" thing to do, but I forget that Christ bought and paid for my relationship with Him. Jesus died for me, so I can know Him and love Him.
Similarly to romantic dates, we have the opportunity to "make a date" with Jesus. I don't mean that to be cheesy, but it's true. People who are in love with each other treasure each moment spent together and cherish each opportunity to spend time with one another. It's never a chore or a burden, but a gift.
It's the same with Christ. He loved us so much He died for us, and how do we repay Him? By treating His Word and our relationship with Christ as a duty or another task on our to-do list? Something to skim through each morning, so we can move on with our day?
Father, forgive me for abusing this beautiful gift of having a relationship with You. Draw me ever closer to Your heart.
Do we have to pray? Do we have to read the Bible? Do we have to do devotions each morning?
No. But we get to. We get to approach the throne of the Almighty God whenever we want and open His Word to learn more out our Creator and Heavenly Father. We get to make a date with Jesus whenever, wherever.
And so often we forget the immense privilege it is to approach our Lord Jesus through prayer and through His Word.
-
3. Government and God's TruthRecently, I've been struggling with imposing my own Christian standards on unbelievers through law and government, regarding issues like gay marriage.
One day at Worldview, I got to eat a meal with one of the speakers at Worldview, along with some other debaters and speechers. Mike Schutt explained it, not as imposing morals found in Scripture, but as upholding the Truth, found not only in Scripture, but in the natural order of things. Regarding the issue of legalizing gay marriage, he explained it as looking at how men and women were created physically and the natural process of childbirth and sex. Instead of only looking at Scripture to find what legislation to approve or oppose, he taught that upholding Truth was the more correct principle to apply to situations regarding religious beliefs and government.
And that really helped me reconcile the issue, because as a believer, it's important to always look first to God's Word. But realizing also that God's Word is truth and the natural order of the world supports truth helped me see that there are more reasons to endorse legislation than simply religious beliefs. And that'll help me in turn explain my political opinions to an unbelieving world.
-
Worldview Academy was incredible. It revived my personal devotions and strengthened my desire for evangelism. It united me with my brothers and sisters-in-Christ, who sharpened me as iron sharpens iron. It taught me incredible truths of leadership, apologetics, and worldview and satisfied my hunger for intellectually challenging, biblical teaching. For what God has done through Worldview, I am eternally grateful.
Worldview changed my life. And I would highly suggest you to let it change yours.
{To watch the Seattle video, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5Y2J624_Q&list=UUvhBE_nSIkeioS6_OX5yr4Q }
{To watch the Seattle video, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5Y2J624_Q&list=UUvhBE_nSIkeioS6_OX5yr4Q }
Saturday, April 26, 2014
God Only Refills an Empty Cup: Fighting a Battle Against Passivity and Injustice
“Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail."
{Isaiah 58:6-11}
Passivity was never part of Christianity.
God never called us to be couch Christians, helping only when it's convenient, serving only when we feel like it, waiting for someone else to do the work. He never called us to be silent when we have a message to share, inactive when there is work to do, passionless, apathetic, luke-warm Laodiceans in a modern society.
There is so much poverty and injustice and pain in the world today. We look around and see those living in abject poverty and those who lost loved ones. People with broken hearts and scarred pasts. Street kids and victims of human trafficking and stressed moms and work-laden dads and despondent teens. In America. In third-world countries. In our world. How can we just stand by, waiting for someone else to do the job, when people around us are starving, homeless, lonely? How can we be so blinded to the needs around us and so focused on ourselves and our own desires?
Is this Christianity?
Christ lived a life full of selflessness. Humbling Himself to the point of death on a cross, He was beaten for our transgressions, mocked for our iniquities, killed for our sin that we might have life and have it to the fullest. He never lived for Himself or His own pleasure. He never remained silent when He could preach a message of repentance and forgiveness and of the incredible love of Christ. He never remained apathetically indifferent to the pain around Him, but He loved others and healed the sick and blind and lame. His work was of the Father, and He lived not for Himself, but for God. Christ's life was one huge sacrifice for others.
Isaiah also reminds us of the choice we have as believers in the passage above. We have a choice to fast, to take the burden upon us to care for the homeless, the weak, the poor. To defend justice.
To pour ourselves out.
Isaiah uses this phrase, and I am again reminded of sacrifice. Of pouring ourselves out without reserve again and again. Of surrendering our passions and desires and instead fulfilling the needs of others. Of emptying ourselves for those around us. Providing food to the hungry, water to the thirsty, friendship to the lonely, the hope of Christ to a world that so desperately needs Him.
Yet, we will never be completely empty.
For God promises that if we pour ourselves out for those who are afflicted, if we sacrifice all we have for those who are needy, if we give ourselves up that others might see the love we have through Christ, we will be transformed into a spring of water which never fails, refreshes others, and gives life to the weary.
Only a cup that satisfies the thirst of others gets replenished.
Because when we pour ourselves out, God's grace will refill our cups.
When we give, God will supply our needs in Christ Jesus.
When we sacrifice, God will always be more than enough.
We will never be empty, but the grace of God will transform us into a continuous spring that never runs out of life-giving, life-changing water.
If we pour ourselves out.
I love this passage. It's my second favorite chapter in the Bible, next to John 14, simply because I want this to be me. This is my prayer. I don't want to be remembered because of my accomplishments or what I've done in this life, but I want to be remembered as someone who gave. Someone who fought against injustice. Someone who sacrificed herself out of love for her God, so others could find the true Life through hers.
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail."
{Isaiah 58:6-11}
Passivity was never part of Christianity.
God never called us to be couch Christians, helping only when it's convenient, serving only when we feel like it, waiting for someone else to do the work. He never called us to be silent when we have a message to share, inactive when there is work to do, passionless, apathetic, luke-warm Laodiceans in a modern society.
There is so much poverty and injustice and pain in the world today. We look around and see those living in abject poverty and those who lost loved ones. People with broken hearts and scarred pasts. Street kids and victims of human trafficking and stressed moms and work-laden dads and despondent teens. In America. In third-world countries. In our world. How can we just stand by, waiting for someone else to do the job, when people around us are starving, homeless, lonely? How can we be so blinded to the needs around us and so focused on ourselves and our own desires?
Is this Christianity?
Christ lived a life full of selflessness. Humbling Himself to the point of death on a cross, He was beaten for our transgressions, mocked for our iniquities, killed for our sin that we might have life and have it to the fullest. He never lived for Himself or His own pleasure. He never remained silent when He could preach a message of repentance and forgiveness and of the incredible love of Christ. He never remained apathetically indifferent to the pain around Him, but He loved others and healed the sick and blind and lame. His work was of the Father, and He lived not for Himself, but for God. Christ's life was one huge sacrifice for others.
Isaiah also reminds us of the choice we have as believers in the passage above. We have a choice to fast, to take the burden upon us to care for the homeless, the weak, the poor. To defend justice.
To pour ourselves out.
Isaiah uses this phrase, and I am again reminded of sacrifice. Of pouring ourselves out without reserve again and again. Of surrendering our passions and desires and instead fulfilling the needs of others. Of emptying ourselves for those around us. Providing food to the hungry, water to the thirsty, friendship to the lonely, the hope of Christ to a world that so desperately needs Him.
Yet, we will never be completely empty.
For God promises that if we pour ourselves out for those who are afflicted, if we sacrifice all we have for those who are needy, if we give ourselves up that others might see the love we have through Christ, we will be transformed into a spring of water which never fails, refreshes others, and gives life to the weary.
Only a cup that satisfies the thirst of others gets replenished.
Because when we pour ourselves out, God's grace will refill our cups.
When we give, God will supply our needs in Christ Jesus.
When we sacrifice, God will always be more than enough.
We will never be empty, but the grace of God will transform us into a continuous spring that never runs out of life-giving, life-changing water.
If we pour ourselves out.
I love this passage. It's my second favorite chapter in the Bible, next to John 14, simply because I want this to be me. This is my prayer. I don't want to be remembered because of my accomplishments or what I've done in this life, but I want to be remembered as someone who gave. Someone who fought against injustice. Someone who sacrificed herself out of love for her God, so others could find the true Life through hers.
Monday, December 30, 2013
A 365 Day Journey: Looking Back and Looking Forward
This is my first year making New Year resolutions.
I've never made them before because I've always had this philosophy that life is about finding ways to grow and mature through each day, through each second. Sort of a short term perspective. And it worked for a while, I'll admit. A big part of life is about working in each second, finding ways to act in each specific situation to reflect Christ.
But this year, I felt a bit differently towards New Year resolutions. A bit adventurous, maybe even. Heck, why not? Life is still relatively fresh. 2014, finishing up my sophomore year. Heading into the world of juniors: PSAT, SATs, visiting colleges. It won't hurt to have a few goals in mind, so I won't backtrack in my spiritual life because I want God to be the center of my life, no matter what.
I have some non-spiritual resolutions in mind, regarding things like debate, karate, firearms maybe even. But in this post, I'm going to set myself two main spiritual goals that I hope to somewhat obtain by 2015.
1) Joy in all things.
Because sometimes I act like a jerk and let my circumstances dictate my emotions. Life is too much like a rollercoaster for me. And so often I forget that this life isn't about me. It never was. It's about the One who saved me. Who died for me, so that I can have every spiritual blessing here on earth. Who provided everything I need for life and godliness, and who promises an unconditional peace. He loves me, no matter what. And so often I forget this amazing truth: that the Creator of the UNIVERSE is my heavenly Father. And life isn't about me or having a good time. It's about God. And all things work according to the good of His children who love Him and obey His commands. So I can trust Him, because everything is according to His glorious plan.
So this year, I want joy. To stop complaining and whining about every little thing. To stop feeling depressed and miserable. To stop criticizing people and feeling sorry for myself. I want to see beyond the dronings of this world and have a God-given joy and peace despite the curveball life throws at me. It won't be easy. It'll be a battle. But it'll be a battle worth winning.
2) Prioritize spending time with God.
To be honest, I am ashamed at how little time I spend with Him out of my 24 hours each day or how little I care about getting to know Him better. I can wax eloquent about how much I love God and all that, but it all comes down to everyday situations. Everyday scenarios. Woke up too late, and what do I forgo? Cut down to a minimum 5 minutes scanning through God's Word, 10 second prayer, rushing downstairs to get today's workload done. And I know this is a heart attitude. That I care more about other things than about my heavenly Father.
This needs to change. Just like any other relationship, time needs to be invested in order for it to grow and deepen into something beautiful. And I should be overjoyed to spend time with my Creator. In these next twelve months, I want to know God. I want to spend more time with Him. I really truly want Him to be first above everything else. And this will be hard. And there will be days when I just want to check Facebook or start working on math homework instead of talking to my Creator and reading His Word. But I want Him to be first. Which means I need to make Him first. Starting today.
When I look back at 2013, I realize how much God has taught me. I've made some really horrible mistakes, but He never left me. Never once. And even when it seemed like nothing was going right and my world was becoming fried, He knew what He was doing. And in hindsight, I am so grateful. I am so grateful for all those times when I suffered and was broken, because they really drove me to the throne of God.
Earlier in 2013, one of the things I struggled with was the question that many of you might also have wondered: If God is a good God, why are so many people going to Hell? People that I love and care for, my friends, my family, those who I hold dear to me. And night after night, I'd cry my heart out because I felt so guilty. Call it survivor's guilt if you will. I couldn't comprehend why God would do such a thing, and why I was saved while those I loved weren't. I felt so incredibly criminal inside, and for a while, I withdrew from God. I hated Him. I told myself that I wouldn't, I couldn't believe in a God who willingly hurt such beautiful people and condemned them to an eternal Hell.
Yet God was still there. Even when I hated Him, even when I despised His gift of salvation, He was there all along, and I knew it. It must have broken His heart to see His daughter reject Him and spit on His goodness.
Because, the truth is, we are not innocent people. In fact, all of us have rebelled against God totally. Apart from Him, we cannot do good. We are unable to please God and incapable of anything worth doing. We broke His law and we deserved Hell. Yet, because of His mercy, He sent His one and only Son down to this earth so we can be saved. We all have the chance of eternal life, if only we repent from our sins and turn to Him, surrendering our broken hearts to Him and accepting Him as Lord and Master of our lives, living our redeemed lives for holiness for Him.
The question isn't "why them?" The question is "why me?"
Why did God choose me? I am unworthy of His sacrifice. I don't deserve His goodness. I don't deserve life on earth. I broke His law. I am unworthy.
Yet He chose me, not because of who I am, but because He wanted to glorify Himself through me.
Because that's the purpose of anything and everything here on earth. That's the purpose of living. To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. This whole salvation process, it's all about His glory. Each person who is saved is for God's glory. It's not about us. It never has been. It's about God and glorifying Him and magnifying His name because He truly is great.
I am unworthy. So Lord, let Your mercy and strength and love shine through me. Glorify Yourself through me.
I'm like a broken clay pot, punctured, cracked. Yet it's because of these fractures that the light can shine through all the more clearly.
It's my imperfection that allows Christ's perfection to be more clearly revealed.
It's my sinfulness that unearths the extent of Christ's forgiveness and grace.
It's my weakness that reveals the immensity of Christ's strength.
And that's my prayer for 2014. To be so immersed in God that my every action, every thought, every word would bring honor and glory to the One who deserves all glory.
Lord, make me weak this year. Make me so dependent on You that people can see You working through this broken heart of mine. Because it's really You working through me. I am nothing on my own. Yet, with You, I have worth. Being. A purpose. Glorify Yourself through me in each day, so that people will ultimately praise You and bring honor to Your Name, because You are so worthy of all the praise here on this earth. Whatever this year may bring, whether suffering or tears or hard work or laughter, may I grow ever closer to You and into the likeness of Your Son. Amen.
I've never made them before because I've always had this philosophy that life is about finding ways to grow and mature through each day, through each second. Sort of a short term perspective. And it worked for a while, I'll admit. A big part of life is about working in each second, finding ways to act in each specific situation to reflect Christ.
But this year, I felt a bit differently towards New Year resolutions. A bit adventurous, maybe even. Heck, why not? Life is still relatively fresh. 2014, finishing up my sophomore year. Heading into the world of juniors: PSAT, SATs, visiting colleges. It won't hurt to have a few goals in mind, so I won't backtrack in my spiritual life because I want God to be the center of my life, no matter what.
I have some non-spiritual resolutions in mind, regarding things like debate, karate, firearms maybe even. But in this post, I'm going to set myself two main spiritual goals that I hope to somewhat obtain by 2015.
1) Joy in all things.
Because sometimes I act like a jerk and let my circumstances dictate my emotions. Life is too much like a rollercoaster for me. And so often I forget that this life isn't about me. It never was. It's about the One who saved me. Who died for me, so that I can have every spiritual blessing here on earth. Who provided everything I need for life and godliness, and who promises an unconditional peace. He loves me, no matter what. And so often I forget this amazing truth: that the Creator of the UNIVERSE is my heavenly Father. And life isn't about me or having a good time. It's about God. And all things work according to the good of His children who love Him and obey His commands. So I can trust Him, because everything is according to His glorious plan.
So this year, I want joy. To stop complaining and whining about every little thing. To stop feeling depressed and miserable. To stop criticizing people and feeling sorry for myself. I want to see beyond the dronings of this world and have a God-given joy and peace despite the curveball life throws at me. It won't be easy. It'll be a battle. But it'll be a battle worth winning.
2) Prioritize spending time with God.
To be honest, I am ashamed at how little time I spend with Him out of my 24 hours each day or how little I care about getting to know Him better. I can wax eloquent about how much I love God and all that, but it all comes down to everyday situations. Everyday scenarios. Woke up too late, and what do I forgo? Cut down to a minimum 5 minutes scanning through God's Word, 10 second prayer, rushing downstairs to get today's workload done. And I know this is a heart attitude. That I care more about other things than about my heavenly Father.
This needs to change. Just like any other relationship, time needs to be invested in order for it to grow and deepen into something beautiful. And I should be overjoyed to spend time with my Creator. In these next twelve months, I want to know God. I want to spend more time with Him. I really truly want Him to be first above everything else. And this will be hard. And there will be days when I just want to check Facebook or start working on math homework instead of talking to my Creator and reading His Word. But I want Him to be first. Which means I need to make Him first. Starting today.
When I look back at 2013, I realize how much God has taught me. I've made some really horrible mistakes, but He never left me. Never once. And even when it seemed like nothing was going right and my world was becoming fried, He knew what He was doing. And in hindsight, I am so grateful. I am so grateful for all those times when I suffered and was broken, because they really drove me to the throne of God.
Earlier in 2013, one of the things I struggled with was the question that many of you might also have wondered: If God is a good God, why are so many people going to Hell? People that I love and care for, my friends, my family, those who I hold dear to me. And night after night, I'd cry my heart out because I felt so guilty. Call it survivor's guilt if you will. I couldn't comprehend why God would do such a thing, and why I was saved while those I loved weren't. I felt so incredibly criminal inside, and for a while, I withdrew from God. I hated Him. I told myself that I wouldn't, I couldn't believe in a God who willingly hurt such beautiful people and condemned them to an eternal Hell.
Yet God was still there. Even when I hated Him, even when I despised His gift of salvation, He was there all along, and I knew it. It must have broken His heart to see His daughter reject Him and spit on His goodness.
Because, the truth is, we are not innocent people. In fact, all of us have rebelled against God totally. Apart from Him, we cannot do good. We are unable to please God and incapable of anything worth doing. We broke His law and we deserved Hell. Yet, because of His mercy, He sent His one and only Son down to this earth so we can be saved. We all have the chance of eternal life, if only we repent from our sins and turn to Him, surrendering our broken hearts to Him and accepting Him as Lord and Master of our lives, living our redeemed lives for holiness for Him.
The question isn't "why them?" The question is "why me?"
Why did God choose me? I am unworthy of His sacrifice. I don't deserve His goodness. I don't deserve life on earth. I broke His law. I am unworthy.
Yet He chose me, not because of who I am, but because He wanted to glorify Himself through me.
Because that's the purpose of anything and everything here on earth. That's the purpose of living. To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. This whole salvation process, it's all about His glory. Each person who is saved is for God's glory. It's not about us. It never has been. It's about God and glorifying Him and magnifying His name because He truly is great.
I am unworthy. So Lord, let Your mercy and strength and love shine through me. Glorify Yourself through me.
I'm like a broken clay pot, punctured, cracked. Yet it's because of these fractures that the light can shine through all the more clearly.
It's my imperfection that allows Christ's perfection to be more clearly revealed.
It's my sinfulness that unearths the extent of Christ's forgiveness and grace.
It's my weakness that reveals the immensity of Christ's strength.
And that's my prayer for 2014. To be so immersed in God that my every action, every thought, every word would bring honor and glory to the One who deserves all glory.
Lord, make me weak this year. Make me so dependent on You that people can see You working through this broken heart of mine. Because it's really You working through me. I am nothing on my own. Yet, with You, I have worth. Being. A purpose. Glorify Yourself through me in each day, so that people will ultimately praise You and bring honor to Your Name, because You are so worthy of all the praise here on this earth. Whatever this year may bring, whether suffering or tears or hard work or laughter, may I grow ever closer to You and into the likeness of Your Son. Amen.
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