Understanding the Culture: Why I Disliked The Fault In Our Stars - Book Review

Don't get me wrong. 

I actually stayed up two nights in a row to finish the book. And I admit, it's a pretty cute story. I'm not usually one for romance novels, but by the time I realized The Fault in our Stars (TFIOS) was one, it was too late. Plus it almost made me cry, and that's a pretty rare thing. 

But to get down to earth, even though the story's sweet and the book's plot was interesting overall, I wouldn't recommend it and here's why.

1. Love =/= passion

After reading TFIOS, I could almost believe in love at first sight. In being swept off my feet by those brilliant eyes and that radiant smile. In sending a billion text messages to someone I literally just met. Oh and there comes sex and the first kiss and all that fun stuff. 

And I mean, seriously? Is that what love really is? Just an indiscriminate passion?

Christ defined love for us when He gave Himself sacrificially for the church. He shed His own blood for us, giving up his Godship to humble Himself even to the point of death on a cross. What more could He give? And in the same way, He calls husbands to love their wives with the same kind of sacrificial surrender. Any love apart from this is inferior.

Love is not just physical, intimate pleasure. Love is not just a feeling or fervent emotion.

Love is a choice. 

It's easy to say that when you're emotionally attached. It's easy for author John Green to make a big deal about Hazel and Augustus' unconditional love when they're both still young, relatively immature, and desperate to be wanted. It's easy to say that in the heat of the moment when emotions are all riled up. Sure, they both experienced great difficulties and persevered together through it all. I accept that. But still, they didn't really fight or argue. They were still in that "in love" stage. TFIOS love... it's not legit.

When I think of love, I picture Up and all the godly older couples around me today. Who argued and fought at times, yet chose to persevere together despite life's difficulties. Who remained faithful to their marriage vows even when that passion disappeared. Even when they both did and do things to hurt the other deeply.

Love is a commitment.

And I don't think Hazel and Augustus have this commitment mentality in mind in the book. At all. Who goes to some guy's house that she literally just met an hour ago? Plus seriously, what was John Green thinking when he included that sex scene? Or all those kissing scenes? Because again, this implants within his readers the concept that love is physical. That love is very hands-on. That love is based on passion.

But love isn't any of those things. Rather, it's a commitment, a dedication between two people who resolve to remain true, even when the passion isn't there, even when they've both hurt each other.

TFIOS doesn't truly define a biblical view of love. Rather it sort of hints at it, incorporating unnecessary details of sex and intimacy between Augustus and Hazel, trying to fabricate this concept of unconditional love.

When Green clearly doesn't get it. 

2. Isaac's revenge

So basically, for those of you who haven't read the book, Hazel and Augustus have this mutual friend named Isaac, who becomes temporarily blind. Because of his blindness, his girlfriend ditches him. Out of anger, Hazel and Augustus guide Isaac to his girlfriend's house where they all throw eggs at her car and at her door. 

Like seriously? What a six-year-old thing to do.

Because when people do things to hurt you, the correct thing to do is to get back at them? 

I thought this story was about unconditional love. If Isaac truly loved his girlfriend unconditionally, he would have understood and desired what's best for his girlfriend, instead of deliberately seeking revenge and hurting her. Ideally, he would have lovingly closed the wound, let her move on, and demonstrated a Christ-like kindness. Isaac didn't really love her at all.

This is yet another reason why I don't believe John Green understands love. Love is not some temporary feeling based on individual actions or choices. Love is not equivalent to passion or satisfaction. And revenge is never justified.

Christ commands us to love others as ourselves, even our enemies. Even if people hurt us or do things that tear us apart. That's how true love works. Christ died for us as wretched sinners who rebelled against Him, who broke His very heart by our sin, who hurt our Creator so very deeply. Yet He died for us. He loved us. He gave Himself for us, even in our hatred and disobedience towards Him. 

Revenge doesn't fit into the picture of biblical love. Neither does TFIOS.

3. Writing

Enough with plot analysis. 

First of all, let me just tell you, the writing level is pretty down there. I accept that TFIOS is for simple reading, and I also accept that not everyone enjoys reading Dickens for fun. I certainly don't all the time. Yet I find it degrading that John Green resorts to such simple language for a high school novel. 

Secondly, why the f-bombs and all the cussing? Sure, I understand the characters experience some deep emotional and physical trauma, and an occasion word would be fine with me. I'm not sensitive to language usage in general, but still, I get the point. We as readers don't need words like that to sympathize with the main character, especially at the rate that Green uses them.

~

So, TFIOS. Definitely a very secular book with a self-deceived worldview and a deficient writing style. Like most romance novels, it presents a destructive view of love in general, and this point of view, this concept of love triggers the American dream we see around us today. A world of broken families, casual relationships, teen pregnancies. This mindset carries over into how we view relationships, marriage, divorce. 

I'm not saying TFIOS causes all these things. That would be a slippery slope fallacy. But still, this mindset that John Green presents is dangerous to our society and to us as teens, endowing us with this unrealistic mindset of love, of passion that never ends.

I'm also not asking you to agree with me. I know a lot of people who really love this book, and that's fine. To each his own, right?

But I am asking you to consider the ideals Green promotes and the ideas upheld behind TFIOS. I'm asking you to take a few minutes and contemplate the worldview the book presents and the consequences of its viewpoint. 

Not all that glitters is gold.

Spiritual Makeup on our Bare Necessity {with special guests Idina Menzel, High School Musical, and Shel Silverstein}

We walk around life with brown paper bags over our faces.

Trying not to let them in or let them see, trying to be the perfect girl society says we have to be. We conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Icy chunks of ice, frozen solid, while deep inside, we're melting.

Sometimes we slather on eyeliner and mascara simply because we're insecure. Because sometimes we shrink from the tired-eyed ghost reflecting in front of us and we grab brushes and paint to try to change the fact that we're humans with natural flaws in all our bleary eyes and pock-marked skin. So we smear on concealer, trying to disguise our weaknesses behind a false veneer.

Oh God, why do we do this?

That's how we walk through life, isn't it? We stroll through with masks and facades, hiding behind our plastic surgeries, trying to appear picture perfect.

When makeup is simply a pitiful endeavor to hide our weakness from others, from God.

Imagine, a classroom, a soccer field, a church full of the desperate yet full of pretense. Full of people pretending that life is good, pretending that the sun still shines, while everything around them lies frozen and bleak and so piercingly cold.

Lord, we have so many empty shoulders around us, so many shoulders to lean on and cry against. Yet why does pride imprison us within ourselves? Why do we walk this journey alone?

Because we're proud. Because we care about self-image. An image of big eyes, full lips, right body proportion. Independence. The ability to do everything on our own. Isn't that how America was established? The belief that yes, we can work to better ourselves, and through our own effort, we can build our own future. By ourselves. Yes, this is me. So self-deceivingly prideful. Nose high in the air, tripping over my five inch stilettos. 

But deep inside, those eyes are quivering with unshed tears, as we bite those full lips, trying to contain the hurt inside, body aching with stress and worry. Because the truth is, we can't. We can't do everything by ourselves.

But yet we still stand apart. Apart from each other. Apart from God. 

This is ridiculous. 

People suffering under one giant tent, but yet each one encages themselves, holding onto invisible bars, shutting out everything and everyone. And not only that but we have a Savior in that tent with us. A Savior who defied death and sin to redeem His children from the judgment of eternal darkness, and who promises to never leave us nor forsake us. His love is unconditional. And still we hide away in our own little dusty corners rather than throw away our pride.

So here I am today, admitting that I am broken. I am weak. I am proud. And I won't lie to you. These past three weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've had some of the best days of my life, and God has blessed me with so much. Yet, these past weeks have really worn me out at times, and I've discovered how weak I am. People and things have broken me, and sometimes I feel so incapable and worn and indecisive. Also, it's that time of year again where we have to plan next year's school schedule, and sometimes things are just frightening. Like the choices I make now will deeply affect next year and the year after that and college and life, and I just have no idea. 

But yet here I am today, ripping away the frozen mask, letting it go to the icy wind, arms out wide, face bared to the world. Shredding that brown paper bag of mine and burning all my mascara, all my pride.

It takes one person to open up.
It takes one person to make others feel secure.
It takes one person to let others know that suffering is universal and these masks, this makeup, these paper bags are useless.

Alone we cannot overcome life's difficulties. But together, with our heavenly Savior and our spiritual brothers and sisters, yes, yes, we can. 

We're all in this together.

A 365 Day Journey: Looking Back and Looking Forward

This is my first year making New Year resolutions. 

I've never made them before because I've always had this philosophy that life is about finding ways to grow and mature through each day, through each second. Sort of a short term perspective. And it worked for a while, I'll admit. A big part of life is about working in each second, finding ways to act in each specific situation to reflect Christ. 

But this year, I felt a bit differently towards New Year resolutions. A bit adventurous, maybe even. Heck, why not? Life is still relatively fresh. 2014, finishing up my sophomore year. Heading into the world of juniors: PSAT, SATs, visiting colleges. It won't hurt to have a few goals in mind, so I won't backtrack in my spiritual life because I want God to be the center of my life, no matter what. 

I have some non-spiritual resolutions in mind, regarding things like debate, karate, firearms maybe even. But in this post, I'm going to set myself two main spiritual goals that I hope to somewhat obtain by 2015. 

1) Joy in all things. 

Because sometimes I act like a jerk and let my circumstances dictate my emotions. Life is too much like a rollercoaster for me. And so often I forget that this life isn't about me. It never was. It's about the One who saved me. Who died for me, so that I can have every spiritual blessing here on earth. Who provided everything I need for life and godliness, and who promises an unconditional peace. He loves me, no matter what. And so often I forget this amazing truth: that the Creator of the UNIVERSE is my heavenly Father. And life isn't about me or having a good time. It's about God. And all things work according to the good of His children who love Him and obey His commands. So I can trust Him, because everything is according to His glorious plan. 

So this year, I want joy. To stop complaining and whining about every little thing. To stop feeling depressed and miserable. To stop criticizing people and feeling sorry for myself. I want to see beyond the dronings of this world and have a God-given joy and peace despite the curveball life throws at me. It won't be easy. It'll be a battle. But it'll be a battle worth winning.

2) Prioritize spending time with God. 

To be honest, I am ashamed at how little time I spend with Him out of my 24 hours each day or how little I care about getting to know Him better. I can wax eloquent about how much I love God and all that, but it all comes down to everyday situations. Everyday scenarios. Woke up too late, and what do I forgo? Cut down to a minimum 5 minutes scanning through God's Word, 10 second prayer, rushing downstairs to get today's workload done. And I know this is a heart attitude. That I care more about other things than about my heavenly Father. 

This needs to change. Just like any other relationship, time needs to be invested in order for it to grow and deepen into something beautiful. And I should be overjoyed to spend time with my Creator. In these next twelve months, I want to know God. I want to spend more time with Him. I really truly want Him to be first above everything else. And this will be hard. And there will be days when I just want to check Facebook or start working on math homework instead of talking to my Creator and reading His Word. But I want Him to be first. Which means I need to make Him first. Starting today. 

When I look back at 2013, I realize how much God has taught me. I've made some really horrible mistakes, but He never left me. Never once. And even when it seemed like nothing was going right and my world was becoming fried, He knew what He was doing. And in hindsight, I am so grateful. I am so grateful for all those times when I suffered and was broken, because they really drove me to the throne of God. 

Earlier in 2013, one of the things I struggled with was the question that many of you might also have wondered: If God is a good God, why are so many people going to Hell? People that I love and care for, my friends, my family, those who I hold dear to me. And night after night, I'd cry my heart out because I felt so guilty. Call it survivor's guilt if you will. I couldn't comprehend why God would do such a thing, and why I was saved while those I loved weren't. I felt so incredibly criminal inside, and for a while, I withdrew from God. I hated Him. I told myself that I wouldn't, I couldn't believe in a God who willingly hurt such beautiful people and condemned them to an eternal Hell. 

Yet God was still there. Even when I hated Him, even when I despised His gift of salvation, He was there all along, and I knew it. It must have broken His heart to see His daughter reject Him and spit on His goodness. 

Because, the truth is, we are not innocent people. In fact, all of us have rebelled against God totally. Apart from Him, we cannot do good. We are unable to please God and incapable of anything worth doing. We broke His law and we deserved Hell. Yet, because of His mercy, He sent His one and only Son down to this earth so we can be saved. We all have the chance of eternal life, if only we repent from our sins and turn to Him, surrendering our broken hearts to Him and accepting Him as Lord and Master of our lives, living our redeemed lives for holiness for Him. 

The question isn't "why them?" The question is "why me?" 

Why did God choose me? I am unworthy of His sacrifice. I don't deserve His goodness. I don't deserve life on earth. I broke His law. I am unworthy. 

Yet He chose me, not because of who I am, but because He wanted to glorify Himself through me.

Because that's the purpose of anything and everything here on earth. That's the purpose of living. To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. This whole salvation process, it's all about His glory. Each person who is saved is for God's glory. It's not about us. It never has been. It's about God and glorifying Him and magnifying His name because He truly is great. 

I am unworthy. So Lord, let Your mercy and strength and love shine through me. Glorify Yourself through me. 

I'm like a broken clay pot, punctured, cracked. Yet it's because of these fractures that the light can shine through all the more clearly. 

It's my imperfection that allows Christ's perfection to be more clearly revealed.
It's my sinfulness that unearths the extent of Christ's forgiveness and grace.
It's my weakness that reveals the immensity of Christ's strength.

And that's my prayer for 2014. To be so immersed in God that my every action, every thought, every word would bring honor and glory to the One who deserves all glory. 

Lord, make me weak this year. Make me so dependent on You that people can see You working through this broken heart of mine. Because it's really You working through me. I am nothing on my own. Yet, with You, I have worth. Being. A purpose. Glorify Yourself through me in each day, so that people will ultimately praise You and bring honor to Your Name, because You are so worthy of all the praise here on this earth. Whatever this year may bring, whether suffering or tears or hard work or laughter, may I grow ever closer to You and into the likeness of Your Son. Amen.