{paraphrased from Psalm 107}
... some wandered in desert wastes, their soul fainting within them. they searched for a city, lacking food, lacking water, lacking sustenance, lacking hope. some sat in darkness, for they had rebelled against the words of God. they had been fools through their sinful ways, and their courage melted away in their evil plight. in the darkness, they realized their own brokenness and they too lost hope.
weary travelers lost in the darkness.
fools captive by their own chains.
us.
then we cried to the Lord in our trouble, and He delivered us from our distress.
He led us faithfully by a straight way until we reached a city to dwell in. He brought us out of the shadow of death and burst our bonds apart. He calmed the storm and made the waves be still, and He brought us, broken sailors, to our desired haven.
for He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.
let us praise the Lord, for He has brought us to dine on the riches of His love, though we are undeserving.
let us attend to these things, for the Lord delights and takes pleasure in us.
let us consider the steadfast love of the Lord, how He has walked alongside us for the past days and how He will forevermore.
through the winds and the waves and the desert and the chains, our God has been faithful.
selah.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
When Your Life is Held in the Hands of the Creator God
I don't think I've made it through a day without worrying.
Doubting in my own insecurity and questioning my own choices and friendships and decisions and wondering if I really am capable of moving out in an year to step out into the unknown. Trying to figure out things on my own and feeling so incredibly overwhelmed and small in the light of the life-changing turns ahead.
I'm guilty of worrying.
I'm guilty of not trusting that my life is planned out in detail for God's glory and my good by my Heavenly Father.
I'm guilty of moving and fighting and searching, rather than simply being still and knowing that He is God and accepting that all things are held within the palm of His hand.
{Psalm 46:10, ESV}
Sometimes in the light of our everyday lives, we forget who God is. We forget to be still and meditate on His attributes and reflect upon His characteristics. We forget to know and be in awe of the majesty and glory of our Creator.
In the Systematic Theology class I'm attending at church, we've recently gone over God's omni- attributes, His power and all sufficient knowledge and ability to be in all places at all times. And these thoughts of God, contemplating theology proper, have brought me comfort and peace, knowing that my life is treasured and mapped out by my Heavenly Father.
His omnipresence, God's ability to be completely everywhere at one point in time. To know that my Heavenly Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, is always with us, and that we can cry out to Him for wisdom and strength and joy, should bring peace. Even though life may be chaotic and decisions may be difficult, He is Emmanuel, God with us, anytime, anywhere, in the midst of the storm and the confusion and the hardships or when we realize how infinitely blessed we are and life seems to be going well. God is always near. And that thought blows my mind.
His omnipotence, God's ability to do anything and everything consistent with His own nature. God promises to work all things for the good of those who love Him, and we know through His strength, He will follow through. Even though things may seem humanly impossible or complicated, God is all-powerful and we can ask great things of the Almighty God. Rather than worrying or taking things into our own hands, we can trust Him to accomplish everything in accordance to His will.
His omniscience, God's ability to know everything. He understands our weaknesses, our needs, and our desires. He understands what we're struggling through, the little things that try our patience, the tough life decisions we have to make, the complex friendships and relationships in our lives. He knows. And we don't need to worry, for the Creator of the universe who knows all things, including what is best for us at each moment in time, will work all things together for our benefit and His glory, through His perfect power and knowledge and presence.
Worry is a sin.
Worry is doubting the ability of our Creator to know and to act.
Worry is challenging the strength of the Lord to act upon what is best for us, questioning the sovereignty of the Lord and His plan for our lives.
Worry exists in the absence of a proper fear of the Lord.
But when we develop a fear and reverence for the Lord, when we contemplate His attributes and find joy and peace in His greatness, when we deliver our cares over to an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God, our worries melt away. We have a God greater than our fears and more powerful than our insecurities who loves us and pursues His glory and our good. We can live each day, trusting Him and His attributes, finding comfort that our lives are in nail-pierced hands.
{Psalm 55:22, ESV}
Doubting in my own insecurity and questioning my own choices and friendships and decisions and wondering if I really am capable of moving out in an year to step out into the unknown. Trying to figure out things on my own and feeling so incredibly overwhelmed and small in the light of the life-changing turns ahead.
I'm guilty of worrying.
I'm guilty of not trusting that my life is planned out in detail for God's glory and my good by my Heavenly Father.
I'm guilty of moving and fighting and searching, rather than simply being still and knowing that He is God and accepting that all things are held within the palm of His hand.
-
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”{Psalm 46:10, ESV}
-
Sometimes in the light of our everyday lives, we forget who God is. We forget to be still and meditate on His attributes and reflect upon His characteristics. We forget to know and be in awe of the majesty and glory of our Creator.
In the Systematic Theology class I'm attending at church, we've recently gone over God's omni- attributes, His power and all sufficient knowledge and ability to be in all places at all times. And these thoughts of God, contemplating theology proper, have brought me comfort and peace, knowing that my life is treasured and mapped out by my Heavenly Father.
His omnipresence, God's ability to be completely everywhere at one point in time. To know that my Heavenly Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, is always with us, and that we can cry out to Him for wisdom and strength and joy, should bring peace. Even though life may be chaotic and decisions may be difficult, He is Emmanuel, God with us, anytime, anywhere, in the midst of the storm and the confusion and the hardships or when we realize how infinitely blessed we are and life seems to be going well. God is always near. And that thought blows my mind.
His omnipotence, God's ability to do anything and everything consistent with His own nature. God promises to work all things for the good of those who love Him, and we know through His strength, He will follow through. Even though things may seem humanly impossible or complicated, God is all-powerful and we can ask great things of the Almighty God. Rather than worrying or taking things into our own hands, we can trust Him to accomplish everything in accordance to His will.
His omniscience, God's ability to know everything. He understands our weaknesses, our needs, and our desires. He understands what we're struggling through, the little things that try our patience, the tough life decisions we have to make, the complex friendships and relationships in our lives. He knows. And we don't need to worry, for the Creator of the universe who knows all things, including what is best for us at each moment in time, will work all things together for our benefit and His glory, through His perfect power and knowledge and presence.
Worry is a sin.
Worry is doubting the ability of our Creator to know and to act.
Worry is challenging the strength of the Lord to act upon what is best for us, questioning the sovereignty of the Lord and His plan for our lives.
Worry exists in the absence of a proper fear of the Lord.
But when we develop a fear and reverence for the Lord, when we contemplate His attributes and find joy and peace in His greatness, when we deliver our cares over to an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God, our worries melt away. We have a God greater than our fears and more powerful than our insecurities who loves us and pursues His glory and our good. We can live each day, trusting Him and His attributes, finding comfort that our lives are in nail-pierced hands.
-
"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."{Psalm 55:22, ESV}
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
At the Brink of 2015: 3 Attributes I Want to Develop This Year
Last year I sat down in this same chair and blogged about 2013. Asked for joy and a passion for the Lord. Prayed to be broken so I could find my satisfaction and joy and all in Him.
And here I am again, at the brink of a new year, cup of tea in hand, praying that God is delighted with me. That this year has changed and molded me into a woman of God He is pleased with. That 2014 has brought me to my knees more often in realization of my own weakness and His strength. And I think it has.
Looking back to a year filled with speech and debate and school, I find that slowly, I have learned to depend on Him more for strength and wisdom. A cramped schedule, difficult homework assignments, and speech and debate tournaments have humbled me and taught me more and more that I need God's strength and peace each day. It's a lesson I'm still learning, to lean on my Heavenly Father instead of my own limited capacity. I remember His hand over my life during those two blessed weeks in Manila, strengthening and teaching me through the examples of others, imparting me with a desire to one day serve Him overseas, humbling me and working in me. And that week in Worldview Academy allowed me to see my shamefully faltering love for the Father and gave me a new thirst to develop my relationship with Him. This new school year has been the busiest yet, but somehow, I've survived the first semester with God's grace.
Here I stand, in awe of God's provision. It reminds me of the Psalms when David recalled God's faithfulness in the past and praised Him for His hand over His people. And that's a bit of what I feel right now. I'm so very thankful that He is working in me and has strengthened me and has drawn me closer to Himself this past year. I truly am a work-in-progress, and it really is mindblowing to reflect on God's hand over my life. I don't and will never deserve His love and faithfulness, but through His grace, I can do what little I can with the life I have now to live more fully for Him. So here's three attributes I want to focus on this year so I can reflect my Father's love to those around me for His glory. (If you're reading this and know me personally, please hold me accountable. Thank you.)
1) Reverence
I want to develop a deeper reverence for the Lord. And this may sound strange and uncommon, but too often I worship myself. Too often I place my own thoughts and desires above God, and I fail to notice the truth, that I am so small and insignificant and weak and sinful compared to my Creator God who is perfect in righteousness and strength. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And this year, I want to develop a healthy fear for my Heavenly Father, that I may see myself and this earth in light of who He is. That I may develop awe for Him and that I may never eclipse His glory with my own idols. That I may be humbled and encouraged by meditating on His attributes and reflecting on the awesome God we serve.
Father God, teach me more about Yourself. I desire to know You more. May my knowledge of You not puff me up, but rather humble me and empower me to worship You in light of the awesome and glorious God You are.
2) Servanthood
This ties in together with reverence and my desire for humility. When we notice God's character and attributes and His promises and faithfulness for His children, it should naturally cause a desire to serve and love those around us as an outpouring of our love for our Father. I want to serve more this year, to learn to give up my own interests for the interests of others and to love others before myself. I want to do the hard things, the little things, the dirty things because that's what Christ has commanded us to do and what He exemplified by coming down to earth and sacrificing Himself on the cross. May this year bring opportunities to serve my family, my friends, my church, and those I interact with for God's glory and for my good. May I have the courage and strength to reach out and love others, even at the cost of my own self-interest.
Lord, You exemplified servanthood in Your birth, life, and death. I desire to serve and love those around me as You did. This world focuses so much on self, but I want to stand against the culture by loving You and loving others sacrificially in return. Give me strength to do the hard things this year, so that others can see the immensity of what You have done for me through my actions.
3) Joy
Too often I disregard everything my Father has done for me and overlook my privileges and blessings as a child of God. I want to find joy, not in my circumstances, but in God's promises and His attributes. As I grow to know Him more this year, I want to not only serve others, but to be thankful and rejoice in who He is. I desire that my emotions and my joy be based not on other people or the things of this world, but on my God who is always good and faithful and never changes. May my joy point others to the true joy that is only possible through knowing Christ.
Lord, I look back at this year and I am in awe of Your goodness and provision and faithfulness to me. I know that I stumble and fall so many times, but You have never abandoned me. Even through difficult times, I have never walked alone. Thank You, Lord, for Your sovereign hand that works everything to the good of those who love You and fear Your name. You are an amazing God, and it is an honor and a privilege to be called Your daughter. May You be glorified through me this next year. May Your light shine through me, that I may serve and better encourage others with the strength You provide. May this upcoming year bring both times of blessing and times of trial to bring me closer to You and increase my love and worship of You.
And here I am again, at the brink of a new year, cup of tea in hand, praying that God is delighted with me. That this year has changed and molded me into a woman of God He is pleased with. That 2014 has brought me to my knees more often in realization of my own weakness and His strength. And I think it has.
Looking back to a year filled with speech and debate and school, I find that slowly, I have learned to depend on Him more for strength and wisdom. A cramped schedule, difficult homework assignments, and speech and debate tournaments have humbled me and taught me more and more that I need God's strength and peace each day. It's a lesson I'm still learning, to lean on my Heavenly Father instead of my own limited capacity. I remember His hand over my life during those two blessed weeks in Manila, strengthening and teaching me through the examples of others, imparting me with a desire to one day serve Him overseas, humbling me and working in me. And that week in Worldview Academy allowed me to see my shamefully faltering love for the Father and gave me a new thirst to develop my relationship with Him. This new school year has been the busiest yet, but somehow, I've survived the first semester with God's grace.
Here I stand, in awe of God's provision. It reminds me of the Psalms when David recalled God's faithfulness in the past and praised Him for His hand over His people. And that's a bit of what I feel right now. I'm so very thankful that He is working in me and has strengthened me and has drawn me closer to Himself this past year. I truly am a work-in-progress, and it really is mindblowing to reflect on God's hand over my life. I don't and will never deserve His love and faithfulness, but through His grace, I can do what little I can with the life I have now to live more fully for Him. So here's three attributes I want to focus on this year so I can reflect my Father's love to those around me for His glory. (If you're reading this and know me personally, please hold me accountable. Thank you.)
1) Reverence
I want to develop a deeper reverence for the Lord. And this may sound strange and uncommon, but too often I worship myself. Too often I place my own thoughts and desires above God, and I fail to notice the truth, that I am so small and insignificant and weak and sinful compared to my Creator God who is perfect in righteousness and strength. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And this year, I want to develop a healthy fear for my Heavenly Father, that I may see myself and this earth in light of who He is. That I may develop awe for Him and that I may never eclipse His glory with my own idols. That I may be humbled and encouraged by meditating on His attributes and reflecting on the awesome God we serve.
Father God, teach me more about Yourself. I desire to know You more. May my knowledge of You not puff me up, but rather humble me and empower me to worship You in light of the awesome and glorious God You are.
2) Servanthood
This ties in together with reverence and my desire for humility. When we notice God's character and attributes and His promises and faithfulness for His children, it should naturally cause a desire to serve and love those around us as an outpouring of our love for our Father. I want to serve more this year, to learn to give up my own interests for the interests of others and to love others before myself. I want to do the hard things, the little things, the dirty things because that's what Christ has commanded us to do and what He exemplified by coming down to earth and sacrificing Himself on the cross. May this year bring opportunities to serve my family, my friends, my church, and those I interact with for God's glory and for my good. May I have the courage and strength to reach out and love others, even at the cost of my own self-interest.
Lord, You exemplified servanthood in Your birth, life, and death. I desire to serve and love those around me as You did. This world focuses so much on self, but I want to stand against the culture by loving You and loving others sacrificially in return. Give me strength to do the hard things this year, so that others can see the immensity of what You have done for me through my actions.
3) Joy
Too often I disregard everything my Father has done for me and overlook my privileges and blessings as a child of God. I want to find joy, not in my circumstances, but in God's promises and His attributes. As I grow to know Him more this year, I want to not only serve others, but to be thankful and rejoice in who He is. I desire that my emotions and my joy be based not on other people or the things of this world, but on my God who is always good and faithful and never changes. May my joy point others to the true joy that is only possible through knowing Christ.
Lord, I look back at this year and I am in awe of Your goodness and provision and faithfulness to me. I know that I stumble and fall so many times, but You have never abandoned me. Even through difficult times, I have never walked alone. Thank You, Lord, for Your sovereign hand that works everything to the good of those who love You and fear Your name. You are an amazing God, and it is an honor and a privilege to be called Your daughter. May You be glorified through me this next year. May Your light shine through me, that I may serve and better encourage others with the strength You provide. May this upcoming year bring both times of blessing and times of trial to bring me closer to You and increase my love and worship of You.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Reflections Over a Cup of Tea: Identity Crisis and Isaiah 43
I'm a junior.
And some days I struggle with my identity.
There are days when I roll out of bed, and I wonder if I am worth more than what I do, what I wear, what people think of me.
Because life is crazy hectic between school and karate and driving places and learning things and getting decent grades and checkmarks in speech and debate. Crammed full of taking and prepping for all those three letter tests. And suddenly, everyone has figured out colleges and careers and majors, while balancing relationships and a healthy social life on the side.
Am I worth more than a good SAT score?
Am I still worth something if I'm not dating a guy, if I don't know what college I want to go to, if I can't keep up a 4.0 GPA?
It's so difficult. When there's pressure from all areas of life to conform and be popular and wear the right things and listen to the right music and get asked out by guys. Years have passed, and it's still the same basic struggle. The battle to not fall back into depression or a low self-image, but to wake up and live without always feeling horrible about myself. The desperate fight to find my worth and value and identity, not because of who I am or what I can do or what other people think of me, but as a daughter of the King who sent His Son down to earth to redeem this broken heart, so I now have worth and value and identity because I am cloaked in His love and grace and strength and peace.
I know all this by heart now. I've said these same things to myself for ages, as long as I can remember. Yet, truly believing these things with heart and soul and mind doesn't come easily.
Lord, help my unbelief.
I turn to Isaiah 43 and its words wash over me, overwhelm me, comfort me.
"But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
6 I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
I am precious and honored and loved and cherished by the Creator of the universe. Nothing, no one can remove me from the unfailing, constant, irreplaceable love of God.
I bear His name, and through the turbulence of life, I do not walk alone.
I wish I could say reading Isaiah 43 entirely replaced my doubt and insecurity with trust in God. But in all honesty, I can't. I'm just a sinner trying to renew my mind with the truth of God's Word, and it really is a constant, daily struggle, and sometimes I do feel discouraged and not worth much. However, I'm just so grateful that we have a God who is patient with us in our stubbornness, who works through our unbelief that we might truly see and know and understand His amazing love for us. That in everything, through all of life's ups and downs, He loves me, forever and always. We serve an amazing God.
{Safety is found only in His sovereignty, security in His love, and satisfaction in His presence.}
May I find my security in Him.
And some days I struggle with my identity.
There are days when I roll out of bed, and I wonder if I am worth more than what I do, what I wear, what people think of me.
Because life is crazy hectic between school and karate and driving places and learning things and getting decent grades and checkmarks in speech and debate. Crammed full of taking and prepping for all those three letter tests. And suddenly, everyone has figured out colleges and careers and majors, while balancing relationships and a healthy social life on the side.
Am I worth more than a good SAT score?
Am I still worth something if I'm not dating a guy, if I don't know what college I want to go to, if I can't keep up a 4.0 GPA?
It's so difficult. When there's pressure from all areas of life to conform and be popular and wear the right things and listen to the right music and get asked out by guys. Years have passed, and it's still the same basic struggle. The battle to not fall back into depression or a low self-image, but to wake up and live without always feeling horrible about myself. The desperate fight to find my worth and value and identity, not because of who I am or what I can do or what other people think of me, but as a daughter of the King who sent His Son down to earth to redeem this broken heart, so I now have worth and value and identity because I am cloaked in His love and grace and strength and peace.
I know all this by heart now. I've said these same things to myself for ages, as long as I can remember. Yet, truly believing these things with heart and soul and mind doesn't come easily.
Lord, help my unbelief.
I turn to Isaiah 43 and its words wash over me, overwhelm me, comfort me.
"But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
6 I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
I am precious and honored and loved and cherished by the Creator of the universe. Nothing, no one can remove me from the unfailing, constant, irreplaceable love of God.
I bear His name, and through the turbulence of life, I do not walk alone.
I wish I could say reading Isaiah 43 entirely replaced my doubt and insecurity with trust in God. But in all honesty, I can't. I'm just a sinner trying to renew my mind with the truth of God's Word, and it really is a constant, daily struggle, and sometimes I do feel discouraged and not worth much. However, I'm just so grateful that we have a God who is patient with us in our stubbornness, who works through our unbelief that we might truly see and know and understand His amazing love for us. That in everything, through all of life's ups and downs, He loves me, forever and always. We serve an amazing God.
{Safety is found only in His sovereignty, security in His love, and satisfaction in His presence.}
May I find my security in Him.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Seeing God Behind the Headlines
I read about pain and suffering and tragedy, all in the comforts of a typical suburban American home, while scrolling through the Wall Street Journal on my Macbook, feet resting on plushy cushions, chips near at hand. I can walk across the room to a fridge packed with food or open my closet to a myriad of different outfits.
Suddenly I look at everything, and I cannot believe that I live among the lucky few, while millions are living in pain and suffering and hardship. It seems hypocritical to read about India's caste system, where untouchables earn less than $4 a month cleaning out latrines and shoveling out human excrement, and then later spend $4 on a Starbucks drink. It saddens me to contemplate the raping and killing and brutality carried on by Boko Haram or the Islamic State. Such brutal murder and anger and fear throughout the world, such trauma as people are beheaded and killed for their faith, as families flee from all they know, all they hold dear.
And here I am. Typing on my Macbook, indecisive over today's outfit or lunch, worrying about PSATs and subject tests and getting all my schoolwork done.
In times like this, when I feel so useless and hypocritical and monstrous in this safety and comfort and wealth, when I ask the whys and I cannot understand the seeming contradiction, I pray. The only comfort I can rely on on this earth comes from above. And in dark times like this, I am led to the Rock that is higher than this storm of havoc and destruction, and I am comforted by God's attributes. In this pain, in these horrific circumstances of death and suffering, He is sovereign and He is good.
He is sovereign.
And I stare at those three words until they can penetrate into this thick skull of mine, until they form a picture of God wielding the conductor's wand, holding the painter's paintbrush, molding the clay. The earth is His footstool. He is in perfect control. All this pain, all this destruction is part of His plan. Nothing happens outside of His control, not even all this.
In fact, I know how this story ends. It ends in a fantastic display of God's goodness and holiness and justice, where all tongues from all nations will bow down in worship and recognition of who God is. Just like the cliche action novel, before the author concludes his tale, things seem dark and unreasonable. It seems impossible that the hero or heroine will ultimately escape from all this madness and things will be made right. Yet, at the end of the novel, all is well and everyone lives happily ever after. In the same way, we already know this story has a good ending. This evil in the world will pass and fall away, but my God will reign forever on high where there is no pain, death, or sorrow.
And so I trust Him. I delight in His sovereignty and supremacy and control.
Even though news headlines are hard to reconcile, even though I cannot understand why these awful things are occurring, I know and believe and recognize God's hand above it all. There is a reason for this madness. And because this is all part of His plan, because I can see the magnificent conclusion of this story, I trust Him.
God is just.
My heart cries out for justice when I look at pictures of murdered civilians, when I see the faces of families fleeing their hometowns, or when I see the corruption in the world and how the rich thrive on top of the bones and blood of the oppressed. In these moments, when my passion spurts out in red flames and I cannot hold within me the anger directed at these men with guns and knives, I recognize that God is just, and justice will be delivered to each individual.
Justice.
That word brings me to terms with my past. For I deserved death. I deserved a living, eternal, forever kind of death. I was no different than these murderers. My heart was just as black as these killers and the people they murdered. I was once one of them, and only by God's grace did Jesus regenerate my broken heart. I have received grace. Yet who am I to hate other sinners when I was once like them?
I demand justice. Yet, do I truly know what I'm asking for? Because justice would require an extermination of all unbelieving human life, including my agnostic or atheist friends alongside Islamic terrorists. Which leads me to a recognition of the importance of God's patience and timing, as well as His justice. Not only do we serve a just God, but we serve a patient God, who desires that people come to know Him.
Justice will come. In the meantime, I wait with Him, for the predestined to repent, for His children to believe, and for all to bow one day before His throne.
God is good.
This sin and death and misery is because of us. We fell into depravity. Our hearts became desperately sick. We rebelled against our Creator, and because of our rebellion, pain and death and suffering came into the world. The evil in this world is a result of sin, not a creation of our Heavenly Father.
In fact, He sent His one and only Son, so that those who believe in His Name and surrender their lives to Him may have life. Instead of passively allowing us to remain trapped in this dark world, Christ unlocked the cage. All we have to do is to simply accept the cage is open and jump out. When we acknowledge and worship Jesus as Lord, when we repent and turn from our sins, we can be truly free. Because of God's free gift, because Christ died so we have a way out of this dark world, we can live life here on earth with rich spiritual blessings and the hope of an eternal life with the King.
And so, though headlines and newspapers may shake my emotions, I know and believe and delight in the fact that my God is sovereign and just and good. Even though I don't understand, though I may never understand the height and depth and width of God's ways, I trust Him. He is faithful. The best is yet to come.
Suddenly I look at everything, and I cannot believe that I live among the lucky few, while millions are living in pain and suffering and hardship. It seems hypocritical to read about India's caste system, where untouchables earn less than $4 a month cleaning out latrines and shoveling out human excrement, and then later spend $4 on a Starbucks drink. It saddens me to contemplate the raping and killing and brutality carried on by Boko Haram or the Islamic State. Such brutal murder and anger and fear throughout the world, such trauma as people are beheaded and killed for their faith, as families flee from all they know, all they hold dear.
And here I am. Typing on my Macbook, indecisive over today's outfit or lunch, worrying about PSATs and subject tests and getting all my schoolwork done.
In times like this, when I feel so useless and hypocritical and monstrous in this safety and comfort and wealth, when I ask the whys and I cannot understand the seeming contradiction, I pray. The only comfort I can rely on on this earth comes from above. And in dark times like this, I am led to the Rock that is higher than this storm of havoc and destruction, and I am comforted by God's attributes. In this pain, in these horrific circumstances of death and suffering, He is sovereign and He is good.
He is sovereign.
And I stare at those three words until they can penetrate into this thick skull of mine, until they form a picture of God wielding the conductor's wand, holding the painter's paintbrush, molding the clay. The earth is His footstool. He is in perfect control. All this pain, all this destruction is part of His plan. Nothing happens outside of His control, not even all this.
In fact, I know how this story ends. It ends in a fantastic display of God's goodness and holiness and justice, where all tongues from all nations will bow down in worship and recognition of who God is. Just like the cliche action novel, before the author concludes his tale, things seem dark and unreasonable. It seems impossible that the hero or heroine will ultimately escape from all this madness and things will be made right. Yet, at the end of the novel, all is well and everyone lives happily ever after. In the same way, we already know this story has a good ending. This evil in the world will pass and fall away, but my God will reign forever on high where there is no pain, death, or sorrow.
And so I trust Him. I delight in His sovereignty and supremacy and control.
Even though news headlines are hard to reconcile, even though I cannot understand why these awful things are occurring, I know and believe and recognize God's hand above it all. There is a reason for this madness. And because this is all part of His plan, because I can see the magnificent conclusion of this story, I trust Him.
God is just.
My heart cries out for justice when I look at pictures of murdered civilians, when I see the faces of families fleeing their hometowns, or when I see the corruption in the world and how the rich thrive on top of the bones and blood of the oppressed. In these moments, when my passion spurts out in red flames and I cannot hold within me the anger directed at these men with guns and knives, I recognize that God is just, and justice will be delivered to each individual.
Justice.
That word brings me to terms with my past. For I deserved death. I deserved a living, eternal, forever kind of death. I was no different than these murderers. My heart was just as black as these killers and the people they murdered. I was once one of them, and only by God's grace did Jesus regenerate my broken heart. I have received grace. Yet who am I to hate other sinners when I was once like them?
I demand justice. Yet, do I truly know what I'm asking for? Because justice would require an extermination of all unbelieving human life, including my agnostic or atheist friends alongside Islamic terrorists. Which leads me to a recognition of the importance of God's patience and timing, as well as His justice. Not only do we serve a just God, but we serve a patient God, who desires that people come to know Him.
Justice will come. In the meantime, I wait with Him, for the predestined to repent, for His children to believe, and for all to bow one day before His throne.
God is good.
This sin and death and misery is because of us. We fell into depravity. Our hearts became desperately sick. We rebelled against our Creator, and because of our rebellion, pain and death and suffering came into the world. The evil in this world is a result of sin, not a creation of our Heavenly Father.
In fact, He sent His one and only Son, so that those who believe in His Name and surrender their lives to Him may have life. Instead of passively allowing us to remain trapped in this dark world, Christ unlocked the cage. All we have to do is to simply accept the cage is open and jump out. When we acknowledge and worship Jesus as Lord, when we repent and turn from our sins, we can be truly free. Because of God's free gift, because Christ died so we have a way out of this dark world, we can live life here on earth with rich spiritual blessings and the hope of an eternal life with the King.
And so, though headlines and newspapers may shake my emotions, I know and believe and delight in the fact that my God is sovereign and just and good. Even though I don't understand, though I may never understand the height and depth and width of God's ways, I trust Him. He is faithful. The best is yet to come.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
When 490 Seems Too Big
70 times 7.
1.
And I stare at that number one. I stare, until that single digit is tattooed onto my brain. I stare, hoping if I stare enough and grasp the simplicity of the digit, forgiveness will become easier in the process, and my bitter heart will be able to open up and truly love those I despise.
But some days, forgiving even once seems impossible. For when there is so much anger and hurt and bitterness, how can I simply embrace someone who caused me so much pain and regret? How can I forgive mistakes and inconsiderations and words?
Lord, how can I forgive?
How can I forgive the simplest of mistakes, the slightest of inconsiderations, the shortest of words? And if I cannot even forgive the little things, how can I pardon the big things? The thick scars upon my heart that prevent me from forgiveness. The words said to me that I've never shared with anyone, words that still cause tears, and with them, anger.
Yet, in my bitterness, I cannot justify myself entirely. I think upon the words I've said, the deeds I've done. Those words are inscribed upon my heart too, words that hurt many and still bring me the deepest shame. My actions fall short also, actions full of insensitivity and blunt cruelty.
My finger strokes the surface of my heart and comes away grimy.
But in this depressing pit of anger and hatred, my thoughts move beyond me to Christ. He never wronged anyone, yet the world wronged Him. And though we acted towards Him in hostility, bitterness, and hatred, He dealt with us in unconditional love, leading ultimately to His death on the cross. Despite the pain we caused Him, Christ died for us. And because Christ died for us, so we must also forgive, for the entirety of our debt has been paid in full.
So 490. A huge number.
But say we've sinned 10 times a day.
10 times 365 times about 17 years.
That equals 62,050.
I've sinned a minimum of 62,050 times in my lifetime.
If Christ has forgiven me more than sixty-thousand times, how can I withhold my forgiveness from anyone? How can we demand pennies from our neighbors when Christ has cancelled our trillion dollar debt? How can we stand in hypocrisy, condemning those who inflict our hearts with paper cuts, while we ourselves crucified our Savior on the cross of our sin?
I am utterly self-righteous.
Christ's example puts me to shame when I examine the bitterness of my heart, as I see how willingly and sacrificially He loved His enemies. Enemies who deserved eternal judgement and everlasting death and His righteous hatred but yet received agape love, adoption into the kingdom, and spiritual regeneration.
Forgiveness is a battle for me. It's hard to disregard the scars upon my heart and welcome those who hurt me with open arms. It's hard to show them Christ's love. And some days, it's a continual process of a renewed hatred remolded into love. But it's a process of sanctification, where our hearts are continually fashioned to become more like our Savior.
Lord, teach me forgiveness. Reveal to me the extent of my sin and the enormity of Your love. Let my self-righteousness wither away at the sight of Your grace and mercy. It is hard to forgive. It is hard to love, Lord. But when I finally come to terms with what You've done for me, forgiving once seems a little less impossible. I recognize that I cannot forgive on my own, but it's because of You that I can love and forgive others. Give me a heart of love and compassion, that I may love others as You love them, unselfishly, unconditionally. I am weak, and often I fail. But You are strong and You delight in using those who are weak. So use me as a channel of love and grace, even to my enemies. I thank You for You are an awesome God, who has forgiven us beyond reason. May You would enlarge my heart to the same proportions as Yours.
1.
And I stare at that number one. I stare, until that single digit is tattooed onto my brain. I stare, hoping if I stare enough and grasp the simplicity of the digit, forgiveness will become easier in the process, and my bitter heart will be able to open up and truly love those I despise.
But some days, forgiving even once seems impossible. For when there is so much anger and hurt and bitterness, how can I simply embrace someone who caused me so much pain and regret? How can I forgive mistakes and inconsiderations and words?
Lord, how can I forgive?
How can I forgive the simplest of mistakes, the slightest of inconsiderations, the shortest of words? And if I cannot even forgive the little things, how can I pardon the big things? The thick scars upon my heart that prevent me from forgiveness. The words said to me that I've never shared with anyone, words that still cause tears, and with them, anger.
Yet, in my bitterness, I cannot justify myself entirely. I think upon the words I've said, the deeds I've done. Those words are inscribed upon my heart too, words that hurt many and still bring me the deepest shame. My actions fall short also, actions full of insensitivity and blunt cruelty.
My finger strokes the surface of my heart and comes away grimy.
But in this depressing pit of anger and hatred, my thoughts move beyond me to Christ. He never wronged anyone, yet the world wronged Him. And though we acted towards Him in hostility, bitterness, and hatred, He dealt with us in unconditional love, leading ultimately to His death on the cross. Despite the pain we caused Him, Christ died for us. And because Christ died for us, so we must also forgive, for the entirety of our debt has been paid in full.
So 490. A huge number.
But say we've sinned 10 times a day.
10 times 365 times about 17 years.
That equals 62,050.
I've sinned a minimum of 62,050 times in my lifetime.
If Christ has forgiven me more than sixty-thousand times, how can I withhold my forgiveness from anyone? How can we demand pennies from our neighbors when Christ has cancelled our trillion dollar debt? How can we stand in hypocrisy, condemning those who inflict our hearts with paper cuts, while we ourselves crucified our Savior on the cross of our sin?
I am utterly self-righteous.
Christ's example puts me to shame when I examine the bitterness of my heart, as I see how willingly and sacrificially He loved His enemies. Enemies who deserved eternal judgement and everlasting death and His righteous hatred but yet received agape love, adoption into the kingdom, and spiritual regeneration.
Forgiveness is a battle for me. It's hard to disregard the scars upon my heart and welcome those who hurt me with open arms. It's hard to show them Christ's love. And some days, it's a continual process of a renewed hatred remolded into love. But it's a process of sanctification, where our hearts are continually fashioned to become more like our Savior.
Lord, teach me forgiveness. Reveal to me the extent of my sin and the enormity of Your love. Let my self-righteousness wither away at the sight of Your grace and mercy. It is hard to forgive. It is hard to love, Lord. But when I finally come to terms with what You've done for me, forgiving once seems a little less impossible. I recognize that I cannot forgive on my own, but it's because of You that I can love and forgive others. Give me a heart of love and compassion, that I may love others as You love them, unselfishly, unconditionally. I am weak, and often I fail. But You are strong and You delight in using those who are weak. So use me as a channel of love and grace, even to my enemies. I thank You for You are an awesome God, who has forgiven us beyond reason. May You would enlarge my heart to the same proportions as Yours.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
To Sharpen Iron: 3 Lessons Learned from Worldview
It wouldn't be stretching the truth to say that Worldview changed my life. Again.
As I think back upon this past week, I see the faces of my small group. Girls who changed the way I see God's heart. Who stood by each other through bleary-eyed mornings and tough lectures and intense discussions and six-pack-developing laughter. I see my small group leader Michelle, who imparted words of wisdom I will never forget and who sacrificed her time and energy and heart to six girls last week. I see the faces of our next generation, guys and gals who stand side-by-side, cupping the truth within our fragile hands.
And we are not afraid. Not afraid to ask the tough questions and wrestle with issues of government and law and biblical authority. Not afraid to step onto the streets of greater Seattle to witness to the Light. Not afraid because we have been trained to testify to the Truth.
I have the greatest admiration for these young men and women, who have a desire to know God and know Truth. For when we know God, we know Truth. And Worldview enables us to know both God and Truth. And to not only know Truth, but to share it with the world and empower others with what we've seen and learned.
On Wednesday, all 160+ students headed out to Fremont and Queen Anne for evangelism, armed with tracts and God's truth. And that's where I met Richard and my eyes were opened to God's heart.
Here was a man, stubborn in his belief that the Bible was contradictory and illogical. That the maximum IQ was when two people converge and how the Bible undermines women and promotes slavery. How the Bible was full of errors, while he himself was the supreme authority on what was right and wrong. How he believed he would simply disintegrate in death and how he believed he was a good person.
Oh Lord, forgive him, for he did not know what he was doing. Open his eyes. Break through to his heart. Show him Yourself in all Your glory and grace and love.
It was in that moment that I saw God's heart break. I saw a glimpse of God's immense pain for this man. He was God's beloved creation that He had sacrificed His only Son for, and yet he remained hostile with his sick heart in direct defiance of everything good and right and pure. Psalm 81:13 reads, "Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!" That day, I felt God's heart cry out in pain. I felt God's agony when He looked upon His creation and saw a disobedient people.
Yet, at the same time, I felt utter frustration, like I was beating against a wall of stone.
For how do you describe light to a blind man? How can you simply make someone see the box of lies he's been living in all his life?
That day, my eyes were opened and I saw the thousands upon thousands of people so blind and lost and dead in Seattle. Not just in Manila, but here in hip, coffee-drinking, tattooed Seattle. We are surrounded by the living dead.
Yet, so often, I am so selfish. I have the antidote to the poison permeating the world's population, yet I do nothing. I sit home on couches and watch TV and go about my daily business, when people are living and dying in their sin in direct rejection of the Truth.
Oh Lord, how can I be so selfish that I would withhold Your life-saving grace to the blind?
Richard showed me God's heart. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Please pray with me for Richard. Pray that God would turn His heart around that he might see God's eternal, unchanging, unconditional love and accept Christ as Lord over his life.
Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. And it is my privilege to study God's Word.
Growing up in a Christian home, we take a lot of things for granted. Often times, I read my Bible because as a Christian, it's the "right" thing to do, but I forget that Christ bought and paid for my relationship with Him. Jesus died for me, so I can know Him and love Him.
Similarly to romantic dates, we have the opportunity to "make a date" with Jesus. I don't mean that to be cheesy, but it's true. People who are in love with each other treasure each moment spent together and cherish each opportunity to spend time with one another. It's never a chore or a burden, but a gift.
It's the same with Christ. He loved us so much He died for us, and how do we repay Him? By treating His Word and our relationship with Christ as a duty or another task on our to-do list? Something to skim through each morning, so we can move on with our day?
Father, forgive me for abusing this beautiful gift of having a relationship with You. Draw me ever closer to Your heart.
Do we have to pray? Do we have to read the Bible? Do we have to do devotions each morning?
No. But we get to. We get to approach the throne of the Almighty God whenever we want and open His Word to learn more out our Creator and Heavenly Father. We get to make a date with Jesus whenever, wherever.
And so often we forget the immense privilege it is to approach our Lord Jesus through prayer and through His Word.
Recently, I've been struggling with imposing my own Christian standards on unbelievers through law and government, regarding issues like gay marriage.
One day at Worldview, I got to eat a meal with one of the speakers at Worldview, along with some other debaters and speechers. Mike Schutt explained it, not as imposing morals found in Scripture, but as upholding the Truth, found not only in Scripture, but in the natural order of things. Regarding the issue of legalizing gay marriage, he explained it as looking at how men and women were created physically and the natural process of childbirth and sex. Instead of only looking at Scripture to find what legislation to approve or oppose, he taught that upholding Truth was the more correct principle to apply to situations regarding religious beliefs and government.
And that really helped me reconcile the issue, because as a believer, it's important to always look first to God's Word. But realizing also that God's Word is truth and the natural order of the world supports truth helped me see that there are more reasons to endorse legislation than simply religious beliefs. And that'll help me in turn explain my political opinions to an unbelieving world.
As I think back upon this past week, I see the faces of my small group. Girls who changed the way I see God's heart. Who stood by each other through bleary-eyed mornings and tough lectures and intense discussions and six-pack-developing laughter. I see my small group leader Michelle, who imparted words of wisdom I will never forget and who sacrificed her time and energy and heart to six girls last week. I see the faces of our next generation, guys and gals who stand side-by-side, cupping the truth within our fragile hands.
And we are not afraid. Not afraid to ask the tough questions and wrestle with issues of government and law and biblical authority. Not afraid to step onto the streets of greater Seattle to witness to the Light. Not afraid because we have been trained to testify to the Truth.
I have the greatest admiration for these young men and women, who have a desire to know God and know Truth. For when we know God, we know Truth. And Worldview enables us to know both God and Truth. And to not only know Truth, but to share it with the world and empower others with what we've seen and learned.
-
1. RichardOn Wednesday, all 160+ students headed out to Fremont and Queen Anne for evangelism, armed with tracts and God's truth. And that's where I met Richard and my eyes were opened to God's heart.
Here was a man, stubborn in his belief that the Bible was contradictory and illogical. That the maximum IQ was when two people converge and how the Bible undermines women and promotes slavery. How the Bible was full of errors, while he himself was the supreme authority on what was right and wrong. How he believed he would simply disintegrate in death and how he believed he was a good person.
Oh Lord, forgive him, for he did not know what he was doing. Open his eyes. Break through to his heart. Show him Yourself in all Your glory and grace and love.
It was in that moment that I saw God's heart break. I saw a glimpse of God's immense pain for this man. He was God's beloved creation that He had sacrificed His only Son for, and yet he remained hostile with his sick heart in direct defiance of everything good and right and pure. Psalm 81:13 reads, "Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!" That day, I felt God's heart cry out in pain. I felt God's agony when He looked upon His creation and saw a disobedient people.
Yet, at the same time, I felt utter frustration, like I was beating against a wall of stone.
For how do you describe light to a blind man? How can you simply make someone see the box of lies he's been living in all his life?
That day, my eyes were opened and I saw the thousands upon thousands of people so blind and lost and dead in Seattle. Not just in Manila, but here in hip, coffee-drinking, tattooed Seattle. We are surrounded by the living dead.
Yet, so often, I am so selfish. I have the antidote to the poison permeating the world's population, yet I do nothing. I sit home on couches and watch TV and go about my daily business, when people are living and dying in their sin in direct rejection of the Truth.
Oh Lord, how can I be so selfish that I would withhold Your life-saving grace to the blind?
Richard showed me God's heart. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Please pray with me for Richard. Pray that God would turn His heart around that he might see God's eternal, unchanging, unconditional love and accept Christ as Lord over his life.
-
2. DevosChristianity is a relationship, not a religion. And it is my privilege to study God's Word.
Growing up in a Christian home, we take a lot of things for granted. Often times, I read my Bible because as a Christian, it's the "right" thing to do, but I forget that Christ bought and paid for my relationship with Him. Jesus died for me, so I can know Him and love Him.
Similarly to romantic dates, we have the opportunity to "make a date" with Jesus. I don't mean that to be cheesy, but it's true. People who are in love with each other treasure each moment spent together and cherish each opportunity to spend time with one another. It's never a chore or a burden, but a gift.
It's the same with Christ. He loved us so much He died for us, and how do we repay Him? By treating His Word and our relationship with Christ as a duty or another task on our to-do list? Something to skim through each morning, so we can move on with our day?
Father, forgive me for abusing this beautiful gift of having a relationship with You. Draw me ever closer to Your heart.
Do we have to pray? Do we have to read the Bible? Do we have to do devotions each morning?
No. But we get to. We get to approach the throne of the Almighty God whenever we want and open His Word to learn more out our Creator and Heavenly Father. We get to make a date with Jesus whenever, wherever.
And so often we forget the immense privilege it is to approach our Lord Jesus through prayer and through His Word.
-
3. Government and God's TruthRecently, I've been struggling with imposing my own Christian standards on unbelievers through law and government, regarding issues like gay marriage.
One day at Worldview, I got to eat a meal with one of the speakers at Worldview, along with some other debaters and speechers. Mike Schutt explained it, not as imposing morals found in Scripture, but as upholding the Truth, found not only in Scripture, but in the natural order of things. Regarding the issue of legalizing gay marriage, he explained it as looking at how men and women were created physically and the natural process of childbirth and sex. Instead of only looking at Scripture to find what legislation to approve or oppose, he taught that upholding Truth was the more correct principle to apply to situations regarding religious beliefs and government.
And that really helped me reconcile the issue, because as a believer, it's important to always look first to God's Word. But realizing also that God's Word is truth and the natural order of the world supports truth helped me see that there are more reasons to endorse legislation than simply religious beliefs. And that'll help me in turn explain my political opinions to an unbelieving world.
-
Worldview Academy was incredible. It revived my personal devotions and strengthened my desire for evangelism. It united me with my brothers and sisters-in-Christ, who sharpened me as iron sharpens iron. It taught me incredible truths of leadership, apologetics, and worldview and satisfied my hunger for intellectually challenging, biblical teaching. For what God has done through Worldview, I am eternally grateful.
Worldview changed my life. And I would highly suggest you to let it change yours.
{To watch the Seattle video, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5Y2J624_Q&list=UUvhBE_nSIkeioS6_OX5yr4Q }
{To watch the Seattle video, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5Y2J624_Q&list=UUvhBE_nSIkeioS6_OX5yr4Q }
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
The Modesty Rant feat. "Modest is Hottest," Protecting our Brothers, etc.
"Modest is Hottest."
I've noticed that slogan pasted over numerous Christian websites and featured in blog posts about modesty. The intention is virtuous. Promoting modesty is important.
But being modest is not equivalent to being hot.
If being hot means showing as much skin as is socially acceptable, if being hot means skimpy bikinis and cropped tops and shorts as short as underwear, if being hot means weighing under 100 lbs with the largest bra sizes possible and the thinnest waist and thighs imaginable, being modest is not hot.
Modesty was never about being hot.
Modesty was never about attempting to attract men by simply being naked or suggestive in the way we dress.
Modesty may never be "hot," in the world's definition of "hot".
But modesty can be beautiful.
Beautiful by showing through our outfits that we have been bought with a price and the life we live on earth is not our own but is lived to the glory of our Heavenly Father. Beautiful by being considerate and thoughtful and sensitive in the way we dress, talk, and act. Beautiful by being the bride of Christ in radiance and purity.
Modesty may never be hottest, but that's okay because what really matters is not people's approval, but God's delight in us.
And He is delighted when we value our bodies as temples of the living God and dress appropriately for His glory. Not that others might value or desire our created bodies, but that people may long for the Creator and see God's fingerprint of mercy in our lives. Not to distract men with a revealing blouse or a miniskirt, but that we might point them to the truth of God's Word in the sincerity in which we live our lives according to what we believe.
A lot of people argue over dressing modestly for fear of stumbling our Christian brothers. Some articles I've read promote modesty to protect the eyes of our brothers, and other blog posts denote this idea, saying such attitudes portray men as weak and unable to control themselves at the sight of bare skin.
There are two extremes to the solution here, either living each day in fear and guilt wondering if our clothes are conservative enough or else flaunting our bodies in a "I don't care, it's their own problem" attitude. I have a couple responses.
First of all, as Christians, we know the responsibility of sin lies within each one of us. We can only blame ourselves for our sinful thoughts and actions. On the other hand, the clothes we wear may tempt others, and Christians should work together towards maturity and growth. It's not so much calling men weak, but recognizing that we all stumble, men and women alike. This attitude should carry over into the way we plan our outfits. Clothing choices differ based on personal conviction, but the mentality should be that even though sin is the responsibility of sinner, we would rather our clothing be blameless in the sight of Christ and so help our church family along than distract them over our shorts or shirt.
Yet, on the other hand, we as daughters in Christ have the freedom to wear what we want, as long as it glorifies and honors God. We don't have to live in constant fear or guilt wondering if our neckline is too low or our skirt seam is too high. God never called us to be nuns, hiding ourselves from the world and from men. We don't have to hide who we are or constantly feel self-conscious because we are made in His image. As long as we have a mentality of God first and others second, as long as we don't seek to distract with our clothing and our hearts are right before God, we have freedom in Him to dress as we see fit.
I know that sounds contradictory. It's one of those things we all have to decide for ourselves and struggle with in our own hearts. It's a balance that differs for each person, knowing that we have freedom in Christ, yet wanting to show thoughtfulness towards the opposite gender in our apparel.
However, I'd like to point out that heart attitude dictates clothing choices. It's not so much about our clothing, but about the heart attitude. A heart that desires attention from the world will choose clothing that glorifies the body. But a heart that puts God first and desires that He be glorified, a heart that unselfishly longs to help others grow in maturity, will find clothing that demonstrates respect for fellow believers and for God.
Modesty is not just about clothes but about the heart attitude. A heart that's modest and humble will demonstrate the same modesty and humility in both clothing and actions.
Modesty may not ever be hot. But in God's eyes, modesty is beautiful.
I've noticed that slogan pasted over numerous Christian websites and featured in blog posts about modesty. The intention is virtuous. Promoting modesty is important.
But being modest is not equivalent to being hot.
If being hot means showing as much skin as is socially acceptable, if being hot means skimpy bikinis and cropped tops and shorts as short as underwear, if being hot means weighing under 100 lbs with the largest bra sizes possible and the thinnest waist and thighs imaginable, being modest is not hot.
Modesty was never about being hot.
Modesty was never about attempting to attract men by simply being naked or suggestive in the way we dress.
Modesty may never be "hot," in the world's definition of "hot".
But modesty can be beautiful.
Beautiful by showing through our outfits that we have been bought with a price and the life we live on earth is not our own but is lived to the glory of our Heavenly Father. Beautiful by being considerate and thoughtful and sensitive in the way we dress, talk, and act. Beautiful by being the bride of Christ in radiance and purity.
Modesty may never be hottest, but that's okay because what really matters is not people's approval, but God's delight in us.
And He is delighted when we value our bodies as temples of the living God and dress appropriately for His glory. Not that others might value or desire our created bodies, but that people may long for the Creator and see God's fingerprint of mercy in our lives. Not to distract men with a revealing blouse or a miniskirt, but that we might point them to the truth of God's Word in the sincerity in which we live our lives according to what we believe.
A lot of people argue over dressing modestly for fear of stumbling our Christian brothers. Some articles I've read promote modesty to protect the eyes of our brothers, and other blog posts denote this idea, saying such attitudes portray men as weak and unable to control themselves at the sight of bare skin.
There are two extremes to the solution here, either living each day in fear and guilt wondering if our clothes are conservative enough or else flaunting our bodies in a "I don't care, it's their own problem" attitude. I have a couple responses.
First of all, as Christians, we know the responsibility of sin lies within each one of us. We can only blame ourselves for our sinful thoughts and actions. On the other hand, the clothes we wear may tempt others, and Christians should work together towards maturity and growth. It's not so much calling men weak, but recognizing that we all stumble, men and women alike. This attitude should carry over into the way we plan our outfits. Clothing choices differ based on personal conviction, but the mentality should be that even though sin is the responsibility of sinner, we would rather our clothing be blameless in the sight of Christ and so help our church family along than distract them over our shorts or shirt.
Yet, on the other hand, we as daughters in Christ have the freedom to wear what we want, as long as it glorifies and honors God. We don't have to live in constant fear or guilt wondering if our neckline is too low or our skirt seam is too high. God never called us to be nuns, hiding ourselves from the world and from men. We don't have to hide who we are or constantly feel self-conscious because we are made in His image. As long as we have a mentality of God first and others second, as long as we don't seek to distract with our clothing and our hearts are right before God, we have freedom in Him to dress as we see fit.
I know that sounds contradictory. It's one of those things we all have to decide for ourselves and struggle with in our own hearts. It's a balance that differs for each person, knowing that we have freedom in Christ, yet wanting to show thoughtfulness towards the opposite gender in our apparel.
However, I'd like to point out that heart attitude dictates clothing choices. It's not so much about our clothing, but about the heart attitude. A heart that desires attention from the world will choose clothing that glorifies the body. But a heart that puts God first and desires that He be glorified, a heart that unselfishly longs to help others grow in maturity, will find clothing that demonstrates respect for fellow believers and for God.
Modesty is not just about clothes but about the heart attitude. A heart that's modest and humble will demonstrate the same modesty and humility in both clothing and actions.
Modesty may not ever be hot. But in God's eyes, modesty is beautiful.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
God Only Refills an Empty Cup: Fighting a Battle Against Passivity and Injustice
“Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail."
{Isaiah 58:6-11}
Passivity was never part of Christianity.
God never called us to be couch Christians, helping only when it's convenient, serving only when we feel like it, waiting for someone else to do the work. He never called us to be silent when we have a message to share, inactive when there is work to do, passionless, apathetic, luke-warm Laodiceans in a modern society.
There is so much poverty and injustice and pain in the world today. We look around and see those living in abject poverty and those who lost loved ones. People with broken hearts and scarred pasts. Street kids and victims of human trafficking and stressed moms and work-laden dads and despondent teens. In America. In third-world countries. In our world. How can we just stand by, waiting for someone else to do the job, when people around us are starving, homeless, lonely? How can we be so blinded to the needs around us and so focused on ourselves and our own desires?
Is this Christianity?
Christ lived a life full of selflessness. Humbling Himself to the point of death on a cross, He was beaten for our transgressions, mocked for our iniquities, killed for our sin that we might have life and have it to the fullest. He never lived for Himself or His own pleasure. He never remained silent when He could preach a message of repentance and forgiveness and of the incredible love of Christ. He never remained apathetically indifferent to the pain around Him, but He loved others and healed the sick and blind and lame. His work was of the Father, and He lived not for Himself, but for God. Christ's life was one huge sacrifice for others.
Isaiah also reminds us of the choice we have as believers in the passage above. We have a choice to fast, to take the burden upon us to care for the homeless, the weak, the poor. To defend justice.
To pour ourselves out.
Isaiah uses this phrase, and I am again reminded of sacrifice. Of pouring ourselves out without reserve again and again. Of surrendering our passions and desires and instead fulfilling the needs of others. Of emptying ourselves for those around us. Providing food to the hungry, water to the thirsty, friendship to the lonely, the hope of Christ to a world that so desperately needs Him.
Yet, we will never be completely empty.
For God promises that if we pour ourselves out for those who are afflicted, if we sacrifice all we have for those who are needy, if we give ourselves up that others might see the love we have through Christ, we will be transformed into a spring of water which never fails, refreshes others, and gives life to the weary.
Only a cup that satisfies the thirst of others gets replenished.
Because when we pour ourselves out, God's grace will refill our cups.
When we give, God will supply our needs in Christ Jesus.
When we sacrifice, God will always be more than enough.
We will never be empty, but the grace of God will transform us into a continuous spring that never runs out of life-giving, life-changing water.
If we pour ourselves out.
I love this passage. It's my second favorite chapter in the Bible, next to John 14, simply because I want this to be me. This is my prayer. I don't want to be remembered because of my accomplishments or what I've done in this life, but I want to be remembered as someone who gave. Someone who fought against injustice. Someone who sacrificed herself out of love for her God, so others could find the true Life through hers.
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail."
{Isaiah 58:6-11}
Passivity was never part of Christianity.
God never called us to be couch Christians, helping only when it's convenient, serving only when we feel like it, waiting for someone else to do the work. He never called us to be silent when we have a message to share, inactive when there is work to do, passionless, apathetic, luke-warm Laodiceans in a modern society.
There is so much poverty and injustice and pain in the world today. We look around and see those living in abject poverty and those who lost loved ones. People with broken hearts and scarred pasts. Street kids and victims of human trafficking and stressed moms and work-laden dads and despondent teens. In America. In third-world countries. In our world. How can we just stand by, waiting for someone else to do the job, when people around us are starving, homeless, lonely? How can we be so blinded to the needs around us and so focused on ourselves and our own desires?
Is this Christianity?
Christ lived a life full of selflessness. Humbling Himself to the point of death on a cross, He was beaten for our transgressions, mocked for our iniquities, killed for our sin that we might have life and have it to the fullest. He never lived for Himself or His own pleasure. He never remained silent when He could preach a message of repentance and forgiveness and of the incredible love of Christ. He never remained apathetically indifferent to the pain around Him, but He loved others and healed the sick and blind and lame. His work was of the Father, and He lived not for Himself, but for God. Christ's life was one huge sacrifice for others.
Isaiah also reminds us of the choice we have as believers in the passage above. We have a choice to fast, to take the burden upon us to care for the homeless, the weak, the poor. To defend justice.
To pour ourselves out.
Isaiah uses this phrase, and I am again reminded of sacrifice. Of pouring ourselves out without reserve again and again. Of surrendering our passions and desires and instead fulfilling the needs of others. Of emptying ourselves for those around us. Providing food to the hungry, water to the thirsty, friendship to the lonely, the hope of Christ to a world that so desperately needs Him.
Yet, we will never be completely empty.
For God promises that if we pour ourselves out for those who are afflicted, if we sacrifice all we have for those who are needy, if we give ourselves up that others might see the love we have through Christ, we will be transformed into a spring of water which never fails, refreshes others, and gives life to the weary.
Only a cup that satisfies the thirst of others gets replenished.
Because when we pour ourselves out, God's grace will refill our cups.
When we give, God will supply our needs in Christ Jesus.
When we sacrifice, God will always be more than enough.
We will never be empty, but the grace of God will transform us into a continuous spring that never runs out of life-giving, life-changing water.
If we pour ourselves out.
I love this passage. It's my second favorite chapter in the Bible, next to John 14, simply because I want this to be me. This is my prayer. I don't want to be remembered because of my accomplishments or what I've done in this life, but I want to be remembered as someone who gave. Someone who fought against injustice. Someone who sacrificed herself out of love for her God, so others could find the true Life through hers.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Spiritual Makeup on our Bare Necessity {with special guests Idina Menzel, High School Musical, and Shel Silverstein}
We walk around life with brown paper bags over our faces.
Trying not to let them in or let them see, trying to be the perfect girl society says we have to be. We conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Icy chunks of ice, frozen solid, while deep inside, we're melting.
Sometimes we slather on eyeliner and mascara simply because we're insecure. Because sometimes we shrink from the tired-eyed ghost reflecting in front of us and we grab brushes and paint to try to change the fact that we're humans with natural flaws in all our bleary eyes and pock-marked skin. So we smear on concealer, trying to disguise our weaknesses behind a false veneer.
Oh God, why do we do this?
That's how we walk through life, isn't it? We stroll through with masks and facades, hiding behind our plastic surgeries, trying to appear picture perfect.
When makeup is simply a pitiful endeavor to hide our weakness from others, from God.
Imagine, a classroom, a soccer field, a church full of the desperate yet full of pretense. Full of people pretending that life is good, pretending that the sun still shines, while everything around them lies frozen and bleak and so piercingly cold.
Lord, we have so many empty shoulders around us, so many shoulders to lean on and cry against. Yet why does pride imprison us within ourselves? Why do we walk this journey alone?
Because we're proud. Because we care about self-image. An image of big eyes, full lips, right body proportion. Independence. The ability to do everything on our own. Isn't that how America was established? The belief that yes, we can work to better ourselves, and through our own effort, we can build our own future. By ourselves. Yes, this is me. So self-deceivingly prideful. Nose high in the air, tripping over my five inch stilettos.
But deep inside, those eyes are quivering with unshed tears, as we bite those full lips, trying to contain the hurt inside, body aching with stress and worry. Because the truth is, we can't. We can't do everything by ourselves.
But yet we still stand apart. Apart from each other. Apart from God.
This is ridiculous.
People suffering under one giant tent, but yet each one encages themselves, holding onto invisible bars, shutting out everything and everyone. And not only that but we have a Savior in that tent with us. A Savior who defied death and sin to redeem His children from the judgment of eternal darkness, and who promises to never leave us nor forsake us. His love is unconditional. And still we hide away in our own little dusty corners rather than throw away our pride.
So here I am today, admitting that I am broken. I am weak. I am proud. And I won't lie to you. These past three weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've had some of the best days of my life, and God has blessed me with so much. Yet, these past weeks have really worn me out at times, and I've discovered how weak I am. People and things have broken me, and sometimes I feel so incapable and worn and indecisive. Also, it's that time of year again where we have to plan next year's school schedule, and sometimes things are just frightening. Like the choices I make now will deeply affect next year and the year after that and college and life, and I just have no idea.
But yet here I am today, ripping away the frozen mask, letting it go to the icy wind, arms out wide, face bared to the world. Shredding that brown paper bag of mine and burning all my mascara, all my pride.
It takes one person to open up.
It takes one person to make others feel secure.
It takes one person to let others know that suffering is universal and these masks, this makeup, these paper bags are useless.
Alone we cannot overcome life's difficulties. But together, with our heavenly Savior and our spiritual brothers and sisters, yes, yes, we can.
We're all in this together.
Trying not to let them in or let them see, trying to be the perfect girl society says we have to be. We conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Icy chunks of ice, frozen solid, while deep inside, we're melting.
Sometimes we slather on eyeliner and mascara simply because we're insecure. Because sometimes we shrink from the tired-eyed ghost reflecting in front of us and we grab brushes and paint to try to change the fact that we're humans with natural flaws in all our bleary eyes and pock-marked skin. So we smear on concealer, trying to disguise our weaknesses behind a false veneer.
Oh God, why do we do this?
That's how we walk through life, isn't it? We stroll through with masks and facades, hiding behind our plastic surgeries, trying to appear picture perfect.
When makeup is simply a pitiful endeavor to hide our weakness from others, from God.
Imagine, a classroom, a soccer field, a church full of the desperate yet full of pretense. Full of people pretending that life is good, pretending that the sun still shines, while everything around them lies frozen and bleak and so piercingly cold.
Lord, we have so many empty shoulders around us, so many shoulders to lean on and cry against. Yet why does pride imprison us within ourselves? Why do we walk this journey alone?
Because we're proud. Because we care about self-image. An image of big eyes, full lips, right body proportion. Independence. The ability to do everything on our own. Isn't that how America was established? The belief that yes, we can work to better ourselves, and through our own effort, we can build our own future. By ourselves. Yes, this is me. So self-deceivingly prideful. Nose high in the air, tripping over my five inch stilettos.
But deep inside, those eyes are quivering with unshed tears, as we bite those full lips, trying to contain the hurt inside, body aching with stress and worry. Because the truth is, we can't. We can't do everything by ourselves.
But yet we still stand apart. Apart from each other. Apart from God.
This is ridiculous.
People suffering under one giant tent, but yet each one encages themselves, holding onto invisible bars, shutting out everything and everyone. And not only that but we have a Savior in that tent with us. A Savior who defied death and sin to redeem His children from the judgment of eternal darkness, and who promises to never leave us nor forsake us. His love is unconditional. And still we hide away in our own little dusty corners rather than throw away our pride.
So here I am today, admitting that I am broken. I am weak. I am proud. And I won't lie to you. These past three weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've had some of the best days of my life, and God has blessed me with so much. Yet, these past weeks have really worn me out at times, and I've discovered how weak I am. People and things have broken me, and sometimes I feel so incapable and worn and indecisive. Also, it's that time of year again where we have to plan next year's school schedule, and sometimes things are just frightening. Like the choices I make now will deeply affect next year and the year after that and college and life, and I just have no idea.
But yet here I am today, ripping away the frozen mask, letting it go to the icy wind, arms out wide, face bared to the world. Shredding that brown paper bag of mine and burning all my mascara, all my pride.
It takes one person to open up.
It takes one person to make others feel secure.
It takes one person to let others know that suffering is universal and these masks, this makeup, these paper bags are useless.
Alone we cannot overcome life's difficulties. But together, with our heavenly Savior and our spiritual brothers and sisters, yes, yes, we can.
We're all in this together.
Monday, December 30, 2013
A 365 Day Journey: Looking Back and Looking Forward
This is my first year making New Year resolutions.
I've never made them before because I've always had this philosophy that life is about finding ways to grow and mature through each day, through each second. Sort of a short term perspective. And it worked for a while, I'll admit. A big part of life is about working in each second, finding ways to act in each specific situation to reflect Christ.
But this year, I felt a bit differently towards New Year resolutions. A bit adventurous, maybe even. Heck, why not? Life is still relatively fresh. 2014, finishing up my sophomore year. Heading into the world of juniors: PSAT, SATs, visiting colleges. It won't hurt to have a few goals in mind, so I won't backtrack in my spiritual life because I want God to be the center of my life, no matter what.
I have some non-spiritual resolutions in mind, regarding things like debate, karate, firearms maybe even. But in this post, I'm going to set myself two main spiritual goals that I hope to somewhat obtain by 2015.
1) Joy in all things.
Because sometimes I act like a jerk and let my circumstances dictate my emotions. Life is too much like a rollercoaster for me. And so often I forget that this life isn't about me. It never was. It's about the One who saved me. Who died for me, so that I can have every spiritual blessing here on earth. Who provided everything I need for life and godliness, and who promises an unconditional peace. He loves me, no matter what. And so often I forget this amazing truth: that the Creator of the UNIVERSE is my heavenly Father. And life isn't about me or having a good time. It's about God. And all things work according to the good of His children who love Him and obey His commands. So I can trust Him, because everything is according to His glorious plan.
So this year, I want joy. To stop complaining and whining about every little thing. To stop feeling depressed and miserable. To stop criticizing people and feeling sorry for myself. I want to see beyond the dronings of this world and have a God-given joy and peace despite the curveball life throws at me. It won't be easy. It'll be a battle. But it'll be a battle worth winning.
2) Prioritize spending time with God.
To be honest, I am ashamed at how little time I spend with Him out of my 24 hours each day or how little I care about getting to know Him better. I can wax eloquent about how much I love God and all that, but it all comes down to everyday situations. Everyday scenarios. Woke up too late, and what do I forgo? Cut down to a minimum 5 minutes scanning through God's Word, 10 second prayer, rushing downstairs to get today's workload done. And I know this is a heart attitude. That I care more about other things than about my heavenly Father.
This needs to change. Just like any other relationship, time needs to be invested in order for it to grow and deepen into something beautiful. And I should be overjoyed to spend time with my Creator. In these next twelve months, I want to know God. I want to spend more time with Him. I really truly want Him to be first above everything else. And this will be hard. And there will be days when I just want to check Facebook or start working on math homework instead of talking to my Creator and reading His Word. But I want Him to be first. Which means I need to make Him first. Starting today.
When I look back at 2013, I realize how much God has taught me. I've made some really horrible mistakes, but He never left me. Never once. And even when it seemed like nothing was going right and my world was becoming fried, He knew what He was doing. And in hindsight, I am so grateful. I am so grateful for all those times when I suffered and was broken, because they really drove me to the throne of God.
Earlier in 2013, one of the things I struggled with was the question that many of you might also have wondered: If God is a good God, why are so many people going to Hell? People that I love and care for, my friends, my family, those who I hold dear to me. And night after night, I'd cry my heart out because I felt so guilty. Call it survivor's guilt if you will. I couldn't comprehend why God would do such a thing, and why I was saved while those I loved weren't. I felt so incredibly criminal inside, and for a while, I withdrew from God. I hated Him. I told myself that I wouldn't, I couldn't believe in a God who willingly hurt such beautiful people and condemned them to an eternal Hell.
Yet God was still there. Even when I hated Him, even when I despised His gift of salvation, He was there all along, and I knew it. It must have broken His heart to see His daughter reject Him and spit on His goodness.
Because, the truth is, we are not innocent people. In fact, all of us have rebelled against God totally. Apart from Him, we cannot do good. We are unable to please God and incapable of anything worth doing. We broke His law and we deserved Hell. Yet, because of His mercy, He sent His one and only Son down to this earth so we can be saved. We all have the chance of eternal life, if only we repent from our sins and turn to Him, surrendering our broken hearts to Him and accepting Him as Lord and Master of our lives, living our redeemed lives for holiness for Him.
The question isn't "why them?" The question is "why me?"
Why did God choose me? I am unworthy of His sacrifice. I don't deserve His goodness. I don't deserve life on earth. I broke His law. I am unworthy.
Yet He chose me, not because of who I am, but because He wanted to glorify Himself through me.
Because that's the purpose of anything and everything here on earth. That's the purpose of living. To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. This whole salvation process, it's all about His glory. Each person who is saved is for God's glory. It's not about us. It never has been. It's about God and glorifying Him and magnifying His name because He truly is great.
I am unworthy. So Lord, let Your mercy and strength and love shine through me. Glorify Yourself through me.
I'm like a broken clay pot, punctured, cracked. Yet it's because of these fractures that the light can shine through all the more clearly.
It's my imperfection that allows Christ's perfection to be more clearly revealed.
It's my sinfulness that unearths the extent of Christ's forgiveness and grace.
It's my weakness that reveals the immensity of Christ's strength.
And that's my prayer for 2014. To be so immersed in God that my every action, every thought, every word would bring honor and glory to the One who deserves all glory.
Lord, make me weak this year. Make me so dependent on You that people can see You working through this broken heart of mine. Because it's really You working through me. I am nothing on my own. Yet, with You, I have worth. Being. A purpose. Glorify Yourself through me in each day, so that people will ultimately praise You and bring honor to Your Name, because You are so worthy of all the praise here on this earth. Whatever this year may bring, whether suffering or tears or hard work or laughter, may I grow ever closer to You and into the likeness of Your Son. Amen.
I've never made them before because I've always had this philosophy that life is about finding ways to grow and mature through each day, through each second. Sort of a short term perspective. And it worked for a while, I'll admit. A big part of life is about working in each second, finding ways to act in each specific situation to reflect Christ.
But this year, I felt a bit differently towards New Year resolutions. A bit adventurous, maybe even. Heck, why not? Life is still relatively fresh. 2014, finishing up my sophomore year. Heading into the world of juniors: PSAT, SATs, visiting colleges. It won't hurt to have a few goals in mind, so I won't backtrack in my spiritual life because I want God to be the center of my life, no matter what.
I have some non-spiritual resolutions in mind, regarding things like debate, karate, firearms maybe even. But in this post, I'm going to set myself two main spiritual goals that I hope to somewhat obtain by 2015.
1) Joy in all things.
Because sometimes I act like a jerk and let my circumstances dictate my emotions. Life is too much like a rollercoaster for me. And so often I forget that this life isn't about me. It never was. It's about the One who saved me. Who died for me, so that I can have every spiritual blessing here on earth. Who provided everything I need for life and godliness, and who promises an unconditional peace. He loves me, no matter what. And so often I forget this amazing truth: that the Creator of the UNIVERSE is my heavenly Father. And life isn't about me or having a good time. It's about God. And all things work according to the good of His children who love Him and obey His commands. So I can trust Him, because everything is according to His glorious plan.
So this year, I want joy. To stop complaining and whining about every little thing. To stop feeling depressed and miserable. To stop criticizing people and feeling sorry for myself. I want to see beyond the dronings of this world and have a God-given joy and peace despite the curveball life throws at me. It won't be easy. It'll be a battle. But it'll be a battle worth winning.
2) Prioritize spending time with God.
To be honest, I am ashamed at how little time I spend with Him out of my 24 hours each day or how little I care about getting to know Him better. I can wax eloquent about how much I love God and all that, but it all comes down to everyday situations. Everyday scenarios. Woke up too late, and what do I forgo? Cut down to a minimum 5 minutes scanning through God's Word, 10 second prayer, rushing downstairs to get today's workload done. And I know this is a heart attitude. That I care more about other things than about my heavenly Father.
This needs to change. Just like any other relationship, time needs to be invested in order for it to grow and deepen into something beautiful. And I should be overjoyed to spend time with my Creator. In these next twelve months, I want to know God. I want to spend more time with Him. I really truly want Him to be first above everything else. And this will be hard. And there will be days when I just want to check Facebook or start working on math homework instead of talking to my Creator and reading His Word. But I want Him to be first. Which means I need to make Him first. Starting today.
When I look back at 2013, I realize how much God has taught me. I've made some really horrible mistakes, but He never left me. Never once. And even when it seemed like nothing was going right and my world was becoming fried, He knew what He was doing. And in hindsight, I am so grateful. I am so grateful for all those times when I suffered and was broken, because they really drove me to the throne of God.
Earlier in 2013, one of the things I struggled with was the question that many of you might also have wondered: If God is a good God, why are so many people going to Hell? People that I love and care for, my friends, my family, those who I hold dear to me. And night after night, I'd cry my heart out because I felt so guilty. Call it survivor's guilt if you will. I couldn't comprehend why God would do such a thing, and why I was saved while those I loved weren't. I felt so incredibly criminal inside, and for a while, I withdrew from God. I hated Him. I told myself that I wouldn't, I couldn't believe in a God who willingly hurt such beautiful people and condemned them to an eternal Hell.
Yet God was still there. Even when I hated Him, even when I despised His gift of salvation, He was there all along, and I knew it. It must have broken His heart to see His daughter reject Him and spit on His goodness.
Because, the truth is, we are not innocent people. In fact, all of us have rebelled against God totally. Apart from Him, we cannot do good. We are unable to please God and incapable of anything worth doing. We broke His law and we deserved Hell. Yet, because of His mercy, He sent His one and only Son down to this earth so we can be saved. We all have the chance of eternal life, if only we repent from our sins and turn to Him, surrendering our broken hearts to Him and accepting Him as Lord and Master of our lives, living our redeemed lives for holiness for Him.
The question isn't "why them?" The question is "why me?"
Why did God choose me? I am unworthy of His sacrifice. I don't deserve His goodness. I don't deserve life on earth. I broke His law. I am unworthy.
Yet He chose me, not because of who I am, but because He wanted to glorify Himself through me.
Because that's the purpose of anything and everything here on earth. That's the purpose of living. To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. This whole salvation process, it's all about His glory. Each person who is saved is for God's glory. It's not about us. It never has been. It's about God and glorifying Him and magnifying His name because He truly is great.
I am unworthy. So Lord, let Your mercy and strength and love shine through me. Glorify Yourself through me.
I'm like a broken clay pot, punctured, cracked. Yet it's because of these fractures that the light can shine through all the more clearly.
It's my imperfection that allows Christ's perfection to be more clearly revealed.
It's my sinfulness that unearths the extent of Christ's forgiveness and grace.
It's my weakness that reveals the immensity of Christ's strength.
And that's my prayer for 2014. To be so immersed in God that my every action, every thought, every word would bring honor and glory to the One who deserves all glory.
Lord, make me weak this year. Make me so dependent on You that people can see You working through this broken heart of mine. Because it's really You working through me. I am nothing on my own. Yet, with You, I have worth. Being. A purpose. Glorify Yourself through me in each day, so that people will ultimately praise You and bring honor to Your Name, because You are so worthy of all the praise here on this earth. Whatever this year may bring, whether suffering or tears or hard work or laughter, may I grow ever closer to You and into the likeness of Your Son. Amen.
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