Today was a wonderful day of fellowship and shopping and relaxation. I am so blessed to know the Nichols family, and I've really enjoyed getting to spend time with them these past ten days. Looking ahead, I'm mainly going to be helping in Redemptio before I leave on Thursday, and on Tuesday, I'm visiting the street girls' camp for half a day.
I can't believe my time here has gone by so quickly. On one hand, I miss you all back at home, but on the other hand, I know I'll really miss this place. Whether it's the colorful jeepneys or the friendly honking during traffic or the little cockroaches and mosquitoes (mosquitoes 15: me 2) or the vibrantly painted buildings or the little kittens on the street or the fried chicken and rice or just the friendliness and respect of the culture here, I know the Philippines will always be dear to my heart.
Even today, while we were in the car, we passed a group of teens who live on the streets under a bridge at night. Only a few feet away sat a tall SM, which is basically a mall/shopping complex. Here I see the poorest of the poor living among the wealthy, and I think I'm learning more that on one hand, it's okay not to feel guilty for what I have and to glorify God with my possessions while also learning to balance being open and willing to give sacrificially. But it really is heartbreaking to see people living with so little but having so much joy.
One issue God has really been putting on my heart is the command to be still and to wait before Him.
Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 46:10
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Today, while I was journaling, I was asking myself: How can I be still when people are suffering, when the world is broken and hurting? How can I be still in an uncertain world when I have hopes and dreams not yet fulfilled? How can I be still when there's so much to fear and worry about and there's so much in the world that is dark and evil and painful?
And then this question popped into my mind: If I live with worry and doubt, not living as if God is sovereign and He holds my life in His hands, if I don't truly live as if God is enough for me, then I won't be still. Too often I live life wanting to make my own plans, not wanting to be patient or wait but wanting to make my own friends, find my own future, plan my own dreams. But I am reminded that maybe I just need to wait and let God move, let God work and change my heart and bring things to pass instead of taking matters into my own hands.
These past ten days I've seen God work. I've seen Him use men and women to reach children and communities, men and women suffering from physical illnesses or financial needs or emotional struggles. I've heard testimonies of God changing and shaping lives, and I've seen God provide financially and spiritually. Not only has He been active all around me, but He's also shown Himself trustworthy in my own life, providing for my physical and spiritual needs during this whole time.
And seeing God move and work really makes me long to be still and wait before God. I now feel a deep desire to trust God more, to wait for Him, to be still before Him. We have a God who is the Starmaker, who created the universe, who plans everything, every event, every timing, every day perfectly. I don't need to worry or stress or try to take control of my own life, but I can wait for Him who is my Storywriter because He is a God who is mighty and who acts on our behalf for His glory and our good.
I'm excited to learn more how to be still, how to wait. God is doing wonderful things in the lives of His children, and this trip has deepened my trust for Him and also increased my desire to trust and depend on Him more. He is trustworthy. He is faithful. He doesn't need us to try and act on our own accord or to try and figure out our lives. He will act for us.
Psalm 126:3
The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad
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